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I used to always have to do this with a woman named Mary

30 minutes?! 😮

Very helpful Thank you for the reminder

My parents have died, and my brothers and I aren’t close We meet at Xmas sometimes My mother even managed to turn my older brother against me so he hates me and doesn’t even know that he has been manipulated into this

As a person who talks too much, I am grateful for kind reminders. Little things like simply picking up the topic again after I have derailed it. It makes me aware and reflective.

I have been going through a stormy season and have little time for self-care, and those quiet moments are becoming more important to me. I just want to retreat and become like a turtle. However, I have learned people can be talkers for many reasons, from just being over the top and self-centered, to those who are lonely, have been emotionally abused, or around others who do not usually allow them to talk and when they finally have an opportunity it all comes pouring out. While we need to set boundaries, may we also have discernment as to what may be going on behind the scenes before we respond in a rude and hurtful way.

Gotta always be about them because they think they are all of that! So annoying!

My best friend of 30 years is a relentless talker. She’ll literally talk for hours during her business day to the detriment of her work performance, even though I HAVE TOLD HER straight up…you should get back to work now, but she’ll deflect and say no no it’s totally fine. So then I say I have to go do XYZ just so I’m not enabling her to not get her work done.

When I wsa child growing up in the early 60's, I was taught not to interrupt , ask personal questions, and make personal remarks. I'm in a senior's club that meets weekly and I confront bad behavior irregardless of who else is around. People respect me now and the bad behavior doesn't happen around me anymore.

Sometimes the best boundary is to choose not to answer the phone. If you are already overwhelmed or ill, take time out when you need it.... Unless you are financially dependent on them.

Thank you Dr. Marin I have trouble with boundaries. This helps take away the guilt when I need to cut a discussion and take care of my needs . And validate that my needs are just as important.

This is so helpful.....i needed to hear it and have the information. Thank you.

So I'ma blabbermouth 😔 and my youngest son is the same way but I don't see us as a problem. the problem is that the listening because being heard is more valuable then directed to just shut up. I am practicing to shut the fuck up. It's hurtful to be told shut the fuck up n shut up but what even more painful n it's what I carry is the fakeness that people make me comfortable to where it's allowed to to talk they say it's ok so it's healing to be told it's ok n what helps is when I practice my boundaries to help me not be so bent or something like just being a jerk. N to me it's important to show my son I'm here I'm listening and me just being present it lights him up n he loves to be loved. I get the cold shoulder from my daughter. I am learning that just because they don't want to listen doesn't mean I'm less valuable and I don't keep going around them either cuz that's just dumb. So I'm turning my annoying self n my big mouth to my own calling center so my negative is a positive cuz now it's safe n actually it'll pay me to talk. So no I'm not gonna just shut up. My words n time spent n existence is just as important as the complainer it's not my fault that they lack human interaction n it's my gift n so that alone needs to be brought out. Silencing talkative people is controlling and just cuz they love to visit and just share doesn't mean it's a problem. I love listening to my son because he's so funny n if a person can't even appreciate n enjoy they're own child or just another human being then it's them. My words aren't trash. I'm cool with that most aren't very nice and fun and open which why I'll continue to just dancing n living off the best to my own drum why because I won't stop my own sunshine . In fact right now I am not talking at all I'm tapping a screen. N I love being long winded because it's ok purpose to get people back to reading even if it's not what they want... people have been so disconnected n ignored that now they think it's normal when no it's not. It's important to remind the talker that they are the ones who turn this sad lazy boring world n without them life would be lame n no color n yuck 🤢 ..sight is important too but whatevz. Hugs too are the stuff. I'ma hugger n that's just tough that I exist so love bugs don't always get the love In return but it's our talking to our selves that brings us lives. Making us think n feel like shutting up is best that's for killers n unhealthy people who do bad stuff. The sunshine goes on.

Love this video 🔥🔥🔥

I agree, over sharing with the wrong person is inappropriate

Heart to heat conversations is ok for me. I have close friends with whom we can talk about everything. About abstract Ideas or personal experiences. But sometimes people owe share, there was one woman, whom I know, she unexpectedly started to tell me about her sexual experiences and preferences, and that was too much for me. And the style of her speech was just wrong for me. I don't talk with her much since

I literally moved from one neighborhood to another because of garrulous neighbors. It was costly, but silence truly is golden.

If they continue to take advantage and disregard your needs, block their phone number.

For more about healing from estrangement and unhealthy family relationships, consider a copy of Cutting Ties with Your Parents: amzn.to/3Z44PgC

Thank you Dr.Sharon Martin this is exactly what I need to hear right now❤

Most of my family has died off as being a young age. I find this someone similar to this issue. The isolation, and lack of connections.

Cutting Ties with Your Parents (Dr. Martin's book): www.amazon.com/dp/1648483909

Handling the Holidays (digital toolkit): www.livewellwithsharonmartin.com/handling-the-holidays-workbook/

Very helpful video. Tysm

Excellent advice 😊

I detest phones,especially telemarketers. So much drivel with phone calls.

❤❤❤❤ This comes up alot in balancing new careers and family life. ❤❤ The right people will support you in your endeavors.

Free guide for considering no or low-contact with family: landing.mailerlite.com/webforms/landing/e5s0k7

I'm glad he dumped me! It's been painful. But, now I'm glad.

“I gotta go” that’s it, no one’s else’s business why.

Sometimes I overshare when im nervous.

Did you love writing this so the family won't talk it through. Hope you feel great lady.

I am the one who talks too much and I warmly welcome a loving strategy to stop the conversation. My brain injury caused me to ramble and go down the bunny holes. God bless all those who have difficulty setting a limit on conversing.

I say I have an appointment, I just don't tell them it's an appointment with my teapot and a chair in the quiet of garden 😊.

I’ve been told I am a good listener. I’m not, I just get annoyed at having to (non-literally) argue with people who “talk AT me!”…. They don’t pause for breath long enough in a normal conversation where people take turns. I often want to tape them. I wonder, if played back, they would hear their voice ad infinitum & change? The other constant annoyance, is the ‘natural’ competition. How often do we listen to learn, not to compete with our own experience of the subject? I want friends’ get-togethers to be 50/50 not 90/10 (or worse) in their favour. Perhaps occasionally this is fine as we all have woes BUT we all have that friend who dominates ALL THE TIME! They don’t learn.

The problem is when you're having a meal with someone who doesn't stop talking. How to politely even out the conversation to have a dialogue?

I think it's only oversharing when you're sharing with the wrong person, so the clues you gave to recognize that are helpful. I can have a perfectly good conversation with one or more people on the same topic or same level, but the same conversation with the wrong person will leave me completely blind-sided and full of regrets. It's usually dependent on how much someone respects you -the part you mentioned about the lack of engagement has been something I've had to open my eyes to, even with people I'm close with or thought I was close with, I'd go crazy trying to figure out why I felt so misunderstood or so alone in my thoughts until I met other who showed me I actually do know how to hold a conversation and get along with people just fine, it's simply a lack of respect with others. That one's been hard to swallow when I feel like I did nothing to deserve the disrespect or ignoring behaviors. Some people just are't going to be your people, even if you think they should be. Never mistake the amount of respect you have for someone else to mean they will reciprocate that level of respect for you.

What about adults who need to cut ties with toxic adult children? Can your new book on Cutting ties with Parents be read from the parents point of view if the parent is the one being abused?

thank you very much

Learn more or purchase: www.amazon.com/Cutting-Ties-Your-Parents-Emotional/dp/1648483909

many of the people watching this do not have the option to leave or set boundaries. there's a trahic assumption in the field that the abuses of childhood are magically over once a person reaches voting age. enmeshed families are fully capable of ensuring that legal and financial shackles absolutely prevent "reconsidering" if old protection mechanisms are still valid

Thanks Sharon. This is excellent and it's definitely a process. I had very low contact with my parents who have now passed but am estranged from other family members and have been since 2013. Looking forward to reading your new book in October.

I didn't know I was over sharing... I thought I was having a heart to heart, being vulnerable and creating intimacy! Silly me.

Thanks from me in Tasmania Australia

Madam all you create awareness of light weight heart people , it’s your video is giving self protection And make us safe in human relationship

Thanks, very informative.

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Access my free codependency resources: www.livewellwithsharonmartin.com/free/