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I really felt this. For the longest time I also thought that I was the only one who felt like reality was just kind of ebbing and flowing. It's a really alienating feeling, but you're definitely not alone in it. I pray you're doing better these days, but if not, DM me if you ever need to talk.

Mine passed away this morning. I was 7 on my birthday when I got him. And now I am 11. I loved him😭

One of my guinea pigs just died today....I’m really sad and broken...

I'm sorry for your loss

Hi I'm from Bulgaria.Last year my guinea pig passed. I was 7 years old when my daddy give me him 5 years later He died and I was broken. Be strong ❤

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(This comment got very, very long. Oops. Wall of text ahead, just to warn you.) Hey. I know that you know you're not alone in this, and that other people feel similarly, but that doesn't always make it easier. I understand feeling like other people have their lives together while you're doing barely anything, lying in bed; I spent the better part of two years with hours lost every day on mindless phone games, living off TV and movies - distractions, like you described, to drown out overwhelming bad thoughts. I still struggle with dissociation and derealization. The thing with time healing is that, like you said, the bandage comes off and the problem is still there, because I guess, like a deep wound, this kind of thing heals from the inside out. And the top bits can still get infected and hurt like hell, and you can slather on antibiotic ointment that just makes everything sticky and unpleasant and probably doesn't even work, and sorry the metaphor kind of got away from me there. But eventually you wake up one morning and there's just a little bit of scar tissue around the edges. Maybe you pick at it and it breaks open and you blame yourself for making it worse again, but the scar tissue will always reform and eventually that wound will heal, no matter how many times it keeps opening up. (Yeah, that metaphor fell apart. They're not my forte.) Part of what made it so bad for me back then was that I never said anything to anyone; getting your thoughts all out online like this is probably a really good thing. Talking with friends and family (if you're close to them), online, or in the real world, might not help much, or feel like it's helping much - you're right in that there's a lot to this kind of thing that you probably do need to figure out yourself. But it won't hurt, especially because sometimes you can't trust yourself to figure it out correctly. And you definitely shouldn't try to deal with it in its entirety alone. I convinced myself I was just a lazy worthless lump, and I probably never would have started to get control of my life again if my roommate hadn't sat me down and got it into my head that my neurotransmitters were probably out of whack, it wasn't just me, and it wasn't going to be like this forever. It's not just you, and it's not going to be like this forever. (And your neurotransmitters might be out of whack - the brain's an organ, and it gets sick, and that doesn't define you as a person). There'll be people who've got your back. Let them try to help, because those thoughts and those feelings are hell to deal with alone. You don't have to have things figured out, or have a handle on everything, or pretend to be 100% okay when you're not. And you *are* accomplishing things. I started watching your channel because I was always eager to see new people get into Steven Universe, and now you've successfully gotten me into Angels of Death. I'm glad you're here, and I'm excited to see where your channel goes and what you do with it. You've got 200+ other people who feel the same way. It's a small thing, but it's a good thing; you've made a positive difference in the world, and you'll only keep making more. Happy birthday, and many more. Keep being here. Your being here improves the world, just a little bit for some strangers on the internet but probably *tons* more for the people who know you, and the world *will* improve for you, with time and help from others; I know this sounds all sappy, but hey, it's true. Talk to friends who know you and can give actual advice and not bad metaphors about time and antibiotic ointment, and don't give up. What's your favorite kind of cake (or other birthday-esque dessert, if you're not a cake fan)? I turned 22 five days ago and made a reasonably edible German chocolate monstrosity. I know this might not mean anything coming from a stranger on the internet. I don't know anything about you. But I'm rooting for you. You can get through this, man. Happy birthday, and may your 23rd be even better.

So good

*Garnet's excited face in Alone Together* 💜

Hmmmmmmmmm HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM Which Is Who Tho!

Pin me

PSA that I don't currently feel this way. Quit happy right now.

*OLD VIDEO OMG*

I’m very sorry about your loss :(

My guinea pig passed last year. I was hearbroken and i loved him. He was so fat and cute. His name was bombur.

Here's a little something different for your ears! 👂🏼🎶