Thank you! I watched this with my middle school student. Today she encountered some mean girls. She was so upset when she came home, but I reminded her about the techniques in this video. I'm sure she'll get more practice and learn to be resilient.
it's the other way around for me like I don't wanna hangout with the bois because they always do crazy stuffs and I feel like I am not one of them and they are diff from me but they still force me to do bad stuff what should I do I can't say no and that's my only weakness
Bullies bully out of ideological reasons. Bullies bully out of ideological reason such as racism, homophobia, sexism, nationalism, hatred of the shy, or hatred of the different. Bullying causes mental illness and depression in victims. I get bullied all the time. Bullies get pleasure from causing other people extreme pain. Bullies see it as an act friendship in their gang to help their gang to bully other people. My bullies will never make friends with me. It is like expecting a NAZI to suddenly be nice to Jewish people. Anti-Semites are cruel.
Follow Israel Kalman's wise advice that he gives here. Don't say anything angry or aggressive to your bullies. They will just think it's funny and that would make them want to do it more. Most importantly, don't say or do anything insulting, offensive, or disrespectful towards them. They will be glad you did because then they have a good excuse to be angry and say you offended and disrespected them, and that they deserve to get revenge and bully you as punishment. Bullies like to use something as a good excuse to act like they're the victim and that it's justified for them to bully their target as revenge for something they said or did to them. Whatever you do don't do anything they can use against you and say you disrespected them and they have the right to get revenge. Remain extremely Respectful and blameless. Bullies usually have a sadistic sense of pleasure, so if you show any expression of being hurt or upset they will probably get pleasure from that. What Mr. Kalman is suggesting here is very good. Don't show that you are upset at all. Just try your best to hide any pain you feel, remain calm, and if you can do it compliment them back if they insult you. That will show that you're not hurt, you're mentally strong, and it will also prevent you from saying something disrespectful to them which they will use as an excuse to get angry and say they are justified to get revenge against you. It's not easy, but compliment them if you can. Bullies are usually very egotistical with sensitive ego's. If you insult them they will get furious and want revenge, but if you compliment them about something they will probably be easily affected by that and really like it and then like you more because of it and then not want to abuse you anymore. They may even end up liking you so much because you complimented them so highly that they would want to actually act friendly towards you like a buddy, but it's up to you if you would actually want to try and make friends with them. Best case scenario would probably be to not get too close to them or hang out too long if they did actually start acting friendly, but do that in a respectful way. Bullies usually have anger and emotional problems in general, and "Don't befriend an angry man". Remember to not show any signs of anger or hurt, they will just think it's funny. Try your best to focus on acting calm, friendly, and respectful no matter what happens. The longer they've been bullying you the harder it will be to end it because they're really used to abusing you and it's become a habit. It might still take a long time, but it will be over much quicker than what's probably happening now with you getting upset and showing them you're hurt and angry. They would probably never get tired of seeing and knowing you're hurt and upset, and that could probably go on forever. You don't want to give them that, show them no anxiety, no pain, but definitely no anger either. If you show anger that shows that they hurt you. Sometimes people have the misunderstanding that showing anger is a sign of strength. It's not. It just shows they were able to upset you so getting angry is a sign of weakness. Just keep trying your best to not show them any signs of being scared, upset, or angry. Keep acting calm, friendly, and respectful towards them. They might get annoyed at first and maybe even bully you more to get you to act upset like you used to, but stay mentally strong and try your best. Eventually they will be convinced that they won't be able to get a negative reaction from you and they won't get sadistic pleasure from you anymore, so they'll get bored and look elsewhere for another person to target. You have to do it as perfectly as you can and stay mentally strong. They will focus on getting a negative reaction from you and analyze your every move. It's about mental strength much more than physical strength. Do not show them any fear, pain, or anger. Stay Strongminded. Remember, everything is temporary and this too shall pass and become just a memory. Stay strong. Take care.
There is a fix for cyberbullying - usually in the top right hand corner of your browser window (or chat program / app) there is an X... click it... bullying gone ! ... it really is that simple...
You can use these same techniques. Stay calm; Be kind. Give the aggressive person permission to be mean. Agree with them that you are the biggest idiot in the world. Compliment them about how awesome they are. It will take away all their power to put you down.
Yeah, this guy doesn't really have a clue. He has some half-assed ideas. He's mostly valuable only, and I mean ONLY, in the sense that he's bringing up the idea that targets of bullying need something to aid their self defense, and need "resilience." Sadly he has a false idea as to how predictably his ideas will work. Determined bullies are not following his script, and I don't know if he is aware of that. He truly may not have a clue. But the truth is, targets of bullying do need some help in figuring out how to respond. He's calling attention to that and that's great, but his ideas are not the be all and end all he thinks they are.
This is incorrect approach. I agree with Daniel Caron below. You are rewarding bad behavior and if you are soft in front of the class- they will eat you alive!!!! You rewarded his bad behavior by allowing him the re-test. FAIL!!!!!
I think you didn't get it. Bullies want a reaction. He is teaching victims to respond in a way that does not react. It surprises the bully. If the bully can't hurt the victim then the victim isn't really a victim. His point is that victims needed protection but a body guard isn't always available. Victims need to know what to do to stop it because in 80% of the cases other kids are watching the bullying and do NOTHING to stop it.
I totally agree. I did quit a job I liked because of bullying. I could not function at work. My job was stressful enough, I didn't need someone else add to my stress level. Now he wants to befriend me on line. He apparently forgot that we were never friends and I won't let him join my circle of friends. He was the reason I quit and the best thing I did for myself. It was a toxic environment. My boss didn't want to hear complaints so it went unnoticed. Everyone was busy and stressed; she said.
Try his methods right here on RUclips with your typical RUclips troll, as I have been for years, defending the kids here against the trolls. They will laugh hysterically, and then eat you alive. I challenge Izzy to try his methods in front of us on any old RUclips troll; they'd leave him bleeding.
Mr. Kalman admits that he has absolutely NO evidence to back up his ideas, while the Olweus program he mocks has dozens of studies from all over the world proving that it works. Google "One Town's War on Gay Teens" in Rolling Stone. Those kids tried his methods, joking with the bullies, and they were not allowed to report. Results? They ended up dead. Studies show that Mr. Kalman's methods do NOT work, and lead to dead children.
Do a You Tube search for "B. Scott Opens Up About Childhood & Introduction To God". B Scott speaks about being bullied and what helped. I have to go with B Scott over this Bullies to Buddies program. The B2B program has some good advice, but it is mixed with destructive advice, namely the program is ludicrously anti "loser", interpreted as "bullying victim." We are all losers and winners. To blame the "loser" is to set our own selves up for self hate. More Love Less shame! For All.
He's saying we shouldn't punish the bullies at ALL, but we SHOULD punish the victims IF they retaliate. E.G. "its okay for kid A to hit kid B, but it is NOT okay for kid B to hit back". Thus, "Kid A is superior to kid B whenever kid A is the bully". He isn't saying the victims hold SOME responsibility. He's saying victims hold ALL of the responsibility. This psychologist, simply put, is a creepy old bully who gets off on seeing children suffer.
6th grade girl is sitting on her boyfriend. I asked her to please sit on her own desk. She snapped back: "you can't tell me what to do.. I'm going to report you..you're going to be so fired" ..I was in so much shock that I just pressed the button and the guard took her away. Cameras would solve my problems. __In a high school gymnasium I saw a girl kissing a boy for 90 minutes. 200 students in the gym 3 coaches plus myself.. The coaches didn't get involved.... schools are a zoo.
@FamilyFixUp The time for trying things is long past, as I eventually reached an age where my peers are not complete assholes. But if that's your idea of "self-deprecating humor," I'd hate to see your idea of "transparent sucking-up."
I see! Having normal emotions is WRONG and you DESERVE to go through Hell, while being a total SYCOPHANT and rambling about how much you SUCK is absolutely the right thing to do. Got it.
Why would I be nice to a bully? I prefer that a security guard come take the bully away. (and cameras in the classroom, too) Bullies need to be stopped.
@pirakafreak24 I have seen a friend do that like a thousand times did it help.. no. He left the class and gone a education grade lower. When he left a was the next victim.. I found the website bullies2buddies and stopped the bullie's before it got worse. They started to throw things at me and the teacher chould't do anything. With me it stopped right there i found Bullies2Buddies and used it. I am not FRIENDS with the bullies but they leave me alone and that is the only thing i want.
Thank you! I watched this with my middle school student. Today she encountered some mean girls. She was so upset when she came home, but I reminded her about the techniques in this video. I'm sure she'll get more practice and learn to be resilient.
it's the other way around for me like I don't wanna hangout with the bois because they always do crazy stuffs and I feel like I am not one of them and they are diff from me but they still force me to do bad stuff what should I do I can't say no and that's my only weakness
Very informative video sir. ❤️ From India
Wow I am all for the second method of not forcing oneself
Well say
Bullies bully out of ideological reasons. Bullies bully out of ideological reason such as racism, homophobia, sexism, nationalism, hatred of the shy, or hatred of the different. Bullying causes mental illness and depression in victims. I get bullied all the time. Bullies get pleasure from causing other people extreme pain. Bullies see it as an act friendship in their gang to help their gang to bully other people. My bullies will never make friends with me. It is like expecting a NAZI to suddenly be nice to Jewish people. Anti-Semites are cruel.
Follow Israel Kalman's wise advice that he gives here. Don't say anything angry or aggressive to your bullies. They will just think it's funny and that would make them want to do it more. Most importantly, don't say or do anything insulting, offensive, or disrespectful towards them. They will be glad you did because then they have a good excuse to be angry and say you offended and disrespected them, and that they deserve to get revenge and bully you as punishment. Bullies like to use something as a good excuse to act like they're the victim and that it's justified for them to bully their target as revenge for something they said or did to them. Whatever you do don't do anything they can use against you and say you disrespected them and they have the right to get revenge. Remain extremely Respectful and blameless. Bullies usually have a sadistic sense of pleasure, so if you show any expression of being hurt or upset they will probably get pleasure from that. What Mr. Kalman is suggesting here is very good. Don't show that you are upset at all. Just try your best to hide any pain you feel, remain calm, and if you can do it compliment them back if they insult you. That will show that you're not hurt, you're mentally strong, and it will also prevent you from saying something disrespectful to them which they will use as an excuse to get angry and say they are justified to get revenge against you. It's not easy, but compliment them if you can. Bullies are usually very egotistical with sensitive ego's. If you insult them they will get furious and want revenge, but if you compliment them about something they will probably be easily affected by that and really like it and then like you more because of it and then not want to abuse you anymore. They may even end up liking you so much because you complimented them so highly that they would want to actually act friendly towards you like a buddy, but it's up to you if you would actually want to try and make friends with them. Best case scenario would probably be to not get too close to them or hang out too long if they did actually start acting friendly, but do that in a respectful way. Bullies usually have anger and emotional problems in general, and "Don't befriend an angry man". Remember to not show any signs of anger or hurt, they will just think it's funny. Try your best to focus on acting calm, friendly, and respectful no matter what happens. The longer they've been bullying you the harder it will be to end it because they're really used to abusing you and it's become a habit. It might still take a long time, but it will be over much quicker than what's probably happening now with you getting upset and showing them you're hurt and angry. They would probably never get tired of seeing and knowing you're hurt and upset, and that could probably go on forever. You don't want to give them that, show them no anxiety, no pain, but definitely no anger either. If you show anger that shows that they hurt you. Sometimes people have the misunderstanding that showing anger is a sign of strength. It's not. It just shows they were able to upset you so getting angry is a sign of weakness. Just keep trying your best to not show them any signs of being scared, upset, or angry. Keep acting calm, friendly, and respectful towards them. They might get annoyed at first and maybe even bully you more to get you to act upset like you used to, but stay mentally strong and try your best. Eventually they will be convinced that they won't be able to get a negative reaction from you and they won't get sadistic pleasure from you anymore, so they'll get bored and look elsewhere for another person to target. You have to do it as perfectly as you can and stay mentally strong. They will focus on getting a negative reaction from you and analyze your every move. It's about mental strength much more than physical strength. Do not show them any fear, pain, or anger. Stay Strongminded. Remember, everything is temporary and this too shall pass and become just a memory. Stay strong. Take care.
9 individual little snowflakes disliked this video. what a bunch of idiots
Excellent video. In any situation of bullying, always remember to be resilent, agressive, and wild at the bully.
@@RobertF- that's your opinion, not the point of this video.
@@yobruh6029 you’ve missed the woods for the trees. If you know you know
this video is epic
But what do you do when you're cyber bullied?
turn off your computer
Sign off social media. Do something active and useful.
There is a fix for cyberbullying - usually in the top right hand corner of your browser window (or chat program / app) there is an X... click it... bullying gone ! ... it really is that simple...
Take a screen shot show it to the cover crime branch. Or report the account or comment.
You can use these same techniques. Stay calm; Be kind. Give the aggressive person permission to be mean. Agree with them that you are the biggest idiot in the world. Compliment them about how awesome they are. It will take away all their power to put you down.
Yeah, this guy doesn't really have a clue. He has some half-assed ideas. He's mostly valuable only, and I mean ONLY, in the sense that he's bringing up the idea that targets of bullying need something to aid their self defense, and need "resilience." Sadly he has a false idea as to how predictably his ideas will work. Determined bullies are not following his script, and I don't know if he is aware of that. He truly may not have a clue. But the truth is, targets of bullying do need some help in figuring out how to respond. He's calling attention to that and that's great, but his ideas are not the be all and end all he thinks they are.
lol this is fucking horse shit...
This is incorrect approach. I agree with Daniel Caron below. You are rewarding bad behavior and if you are soft in front of the class- they will eat you alive!!!! You rewarded his bad behavior by allowing him the re-test. FAIL!!!!!
Give me back my sock.
A bigger sock puppet than lambchop.
so stupid.
I think you didn't get it. Bullies want a reaction. He is teaching victims to respond in a way that does not react. It surprises the bully. If the bully can't hurt the victim then the victim isn't really a victim. His point is that victims needed protection but a body guard isn't always available. Victims need to know what to do to stop it because in 80% of the cases other kids are watching the bullying and do NOTHING to stop it.
I totally agree. I did quit a job I liked because of bullying. I could not function at work. My job was stressful enough, I didn't need someone else add to my stress level. Now he wants to befriend me on line. He apparently forgot that we were never friends and I won't let him join my circle of friends. He was the reason I quit and the best thing I did for myself. It was a toxic environment. My boss didn't want to hear complaints so it went unnoticed. Everyone was busy and stressed; she said.
@FamilyFixUp No activity whatsoever on your channel - can we say sockpuppet?
Try his methods right here on RUclips with your typical RUclips troll, as I have been for years, defending the kids here against the trolls. They will laugh hysterically, and then eat you alive. I challenge Izzy to try his methods in front of us on any old RUclips troll; they'd leave him bleeding.
Mr. Kalman admits that he has absolutely NO evidence to back up his ideas, while the Olweus program he mocks has dozens of studies from all over the world proving that it works. Google "One Town's War on Gay Teens" in Rolling Stone. Those kids tried his methods, joking with the bullies, and they were not allowed to report. Results? They ended up dead. Studies show that Mr. Kalman's methods do NOT work, and lead to dead children.
Do a You Tube search for "B. Scott Opens Up About Childhood & Introduction To God". B Scott speaks about being bullied and what helped. I have to go with B Scott over this Bullies to Buddies program. The B2B program has some good advice, but it is mixed with destructive advice, namely the program is ludicrously anti "loser", interpreted as "bullying victim." We are all losers and winners. To blame the "loser" is to set our own selves up for self hate. More Love Less shame! For All.
He's saying we shouldn't punish the bullies at ALL, but we SHOULD punish the victims IF they retaliate. E.G. "its okay for kid A to hit kid B, but it is NOT okay for kid B to hit back". Thus, "Kid A is superior to kid B whenever kid A is the bully". He isn't saying the victims hold SOME responsibility. He's saying victims hold ALL of the responsibility. This psychologist, simply put, is a creepy old bully who gets off on seeing children suffer.
6th grade girl is sitting on her boyfriend. I asked her to please sit on her own desk. She snapped back: "you can't tell me what to do.. I'm going to report you..you're going to be so fired" ..I was in so much shock that I just pressed the button and the guard took her away. Cameras would solve my problems. __In a high school gymnasium I saw a girl kissing a boy for 90 minutes. 200 students in the gym 3 coaches plus myself.. The coaches didn't get involved.... schools are a zoo.
well you can just push a button on a guard comes to take them away? what country do you teach in it sounds like a prison
Yes.
@FamilyFixUp The time for trying things is long past, as I eventually reached an age where my peers are not complete assholes. But if that's your idea of "self-deprecating humor," I'd hate to see your idea of "transparent sucking-up."
being the victim feels bad, don't be a victim, be the bigger person
I see! Having normal emotions is WRONG and you DESERVE to go through Hell, while being a total SYCOPHANT and rambling about how much you SUCK is absolutely the right thing to do. Got it.
Why would I be nice to a bully? I prefer that a security guard come take the bully away. (and cameras in the classroom, too) Bullies need to be stopped.
I almost feel like teasing pirakafreak24... haha
pirakafreak im sure you have no friends like I had when I got angry and reported bullies
Yeah currently
@pirakafreak24 I am not saying it is the only way but is helped me with bullying and that is the only thing that counts for me.
@pirakafreak24 I have seen a friend do that like a thousand times did it help.. no. He left the class and gone a education grade lower. When he left a was the next victim.. I found the website bullies2buddies and stopped the bullie's before it got worse. They started to throw things at me and the teacher chould't do anything. With me it stopped right there i found Bullies2Buddies and used it. I am not FRIENDS with the bullies but they leave me alone and that is the only thing i want.
@pirakafreak24 How long have you been bully free?
yeah ~ would about business bullying * ~ where merchandise scarcity & money is on the line ~
thanks so much! i cant wait to try this when school starts! that will put them jerks right where they belong!!!
hey..,...... did it work?
@@kurtomcburto He dead, man