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I was a huge of one direction from 2012-2016 I had posters of them on my walls and I had a one direction doona cover and one direction key ring and I used listen to them a lot and I stopped listening to them after they split up and I realised that they weren’t going to reunite and that wasn’t a brief break it was an actual break up and they just never told this because of the over top reactions when Zayn left and I forgot about the band for years and I didn’t think about them for years and got into other artists and it wasn’t until I got recommended a video on what the boys were up to after the band split up and then i forgot about them again until the news come out that Liam passer away and I thought it was a one of death hoaxes as well i thought someone made up a rumour for attention but I looked it up it was true that he died and my heart sank and his death sank in i was really sad for the past few days and i surprised at how big the news I thought people forgot about one direction but I was wrong and some of their songs are recharting on the Spotify global top 50 chart due to Liam’s death

Huge one direction fan in high school i just went London a few weeks ago and saw and bought a one direction shirt in camden market I got so excited. I'm heartbroken over his passing

No same.. I detached myself from 1D years ago and Liam's death really didn't affect much at first. Shock, sure..but I wasn't as upset about it as I thought I'd be considering I loved them so much. about 48hrs later it REALLY hit me.... especially watching so many old videos of them and him. I didn't realise I missed them and that period of my life so much. No matter how terrible he was as a person, he still played a huge role in my adolescence and I mourn the idealised version of him I had in my head.

I’m 30 and I’m feeling very similar and sad

i turned 26 in september and i was 13 years old when i became a directioner and also a “liam girl” in 2012... tbh i still haven’t gotten over what happened, it feels so unreal, it hurts me because i think of previous years and how i NEVER would have even imagined that this would be the end for Liam 💔 i feel that his death is something that i will accept over time but that i will definitely never get over…

I find it crazy how I heard one thing at the store the day before Liam was announced dead. I hope he’s okay and happy.

I cried

I woke up when my brother came in and told me the news and then I started to cry didn't want to believe it at first but then my brother confirmed it and then I started crying even more love you Liam Payne😢

I was literally in the car with my mom when my sister texted me saying liam is dead and at first i was like this has to be joke right like this is obviously fake but when i looked him up and saw that it was real i was in complete shock i couldn't even prosses it. I just started crying immediately and couldn't believe it was real. One direction was such a huge part of my teen years and it never crossed my mind we would lose a member so soon. He was so young and had so much more life to live. I know he made some really bad decisions addiction is one of the hardest things to overcome. I think most of me is mourning the young guy i grew up with. No matter what happens i will always love him and its just so heartbreaking how his story ended he was a beautiful human. Rest easy liam

I always think of the fact that they did all that hard working for 5 years and then suddenly having the freedom of doing anything they wanted was probably a big shock and change for their life, specially bc they stated so young and probably had normalized all that lifestyle, i know in my heart he didn't intended to end his life but he was definitely going through a hard time and seemed like he try some new stuff and mixing them (never buy dr***s on Argentina or anywhere, or just dont try them), i try to think of the fans that got to see him those last days and how much love they showed him and hoping he had those things in his mind, aside the controversy and things he did he was too young and had the chance to change and do better, which is the part that hurts the most. Im still kinda shocked and it doesn't feel like real life, i cant listen to 1d yet or go on social media and the news didn't help at all when they put such horrible headlines and the pictures

I am a girl in middle school who is obsessed with one direction, and at first I didn’t believe it. I’ve been a directioner since December of last year so yeah I’m new. when I found out I was literally just watching live performances and just being obsessive until I checked my yt recommend and I didn’t believe it. honestly like I thought it was a lie. I obviously now know it’s true and I am crushed.

Hey. This was nice. I thought i was just acting out because im an emotional weirdo. Turns im not the only one❤

I hope you know watching those compilations contributed to this. I hope you learned a lesson about cyberbullying

Omg i literally had the same experience with the youtube videos thats so weird . My cousin informed me that Liam died and i didnt believe it so i searched it my self and i saw on wiki his time of death and location and the whole thing hit me . I havent been a 1D fan for years , but my teenager self just got hit hard . I am still in shock

Not me crying while typing this 🥲I’ve also been listening to 1D like all week. I wish I got to see them live..I miss the old days back in elementary and middle school and everything else like seeing all the 1D stuff on all the girls’ binders and what not. I am grateful that I was there to experience all of it while it was happening though. It really really sucks that it I’ll never be the same again. Need a time machine fr. If anyone has one please lmk :,) Sending digital hugs to everyone here. 💜 Rip Liam 🕊️

I swear, the media and fans can be soooo toxic at times, the scandals this guy was involved in were the most unserious, blown-out-of-proportion scandals I’ve ever heard of in my life

Thank you for posting this ❤ I’m 25 now, been a directioner since 10/11. My room looked just like yours at one point 🥹 i just can’t even put it into words, they were just everything to me growing up. I still can’t believe he’s gone. And this is our new reality. I gotta say, it’s been so comforting seeing how all us directioners have come together again, despite the circumstances. 💔 Rest in paradise Liam, forever young

Feeling just the same as you 🥺🫶🏻 I really like this video! Thank you ❤️✨

Fans through good times and bad times

i’m 16, but i still grew up w one direction, literally lmao. i always knew ab them at school cuz my friends had older siblings nd would hear their music on the radio on the way to school w my mom. i didnt fully become a fan until 2015-16, but i think i can still say i grew up w them. they raised me. i’m still into them nd i think i always will be. this entire week has hit hard, this truly is the first death of many more in our generation. but this js rlly hit home.

It’s sort of a sudden reminder of our mortality and how fragile life can be, and how eventually all of our childhood idols will eventually pass on one day.

i haven’t even seen the internet and society this affected by someone’s death in a long time… that’s how yk he was a big part of many ppls lives, LLL.😕

Hi Tori. I am feel like you do. I was a big 1D fan as a young girl but stopped when 5sos pecked and became a fan of them. Maybe around 3-4 days before his death I was watching a RUclips video of him and his ex from spill sesh and was quite shocked. I did not know that they had broken up or that she has wrote a book about him. I remember feeling mad about it and thought it was very disturbing. Then a day later my mom showed a photo of me and my friend when I had a 1D t-shirt on. Then maybe one day after I was driven home from a girls trip with my mom, and then saw the news that Liam has passed away, I still am shocked about how much his death has affected me as a old 1D fan and a person. I know he maybe did some bad thing, but I feel its horrible that it has all come to light at his death. For some reason I find It hard to accept that he is really gone. And I regret that I did not support him before his death. I think he maybe fell shadowed by his other members and that really took a toll on him.

Their music was always (and still is) my comfort music. I used to put my phone under my pillow with their music playing overnight to fall asleep to (yes i realize in hindsight that was incredibly stupid and a huge fire hazard). I was never super obsessed, but i was defiantly a bigger fan then most other boys were. The last 7 days have just been a bit of blur. Luckily we were pretty busy at work this week so that kept my mind off of it some what, but like Thursday, i was just and then yesterday and today, i've just been going the motions (and listening to their music a lot)

im 21. i would also get the same magazines as you and had a similar 1D wall, that was painted LIME green lol. my mom would let me get a magazine at the grocery store if i would go do the weekly shopping with her. im just so so heart broken. similar to liam ive had a lot of issues with addiction, and it just kills me he doesn't get the chance to get help and right his wrongs. it just hurts

Rest in peace Liam💔🕊️

I’ve been searching for former directioners to share their feelings. So hard now where there is no clear place to meet and discuss. The adoration and grief is so real and I have no friends physically around who understand

My reaction when the videos were coming out about him was “oh my god it’s Liam. He was my favorite directioner! He must’ve gone through so much since then.” Then I took the time to look into his past, what they put him through, the stages he evolved into, and I understood the dynamic of his abuse and abusing. I’m not afraid of the masses. I love Liam, and I have loved many people with addictions, with fuck ups and faults. Loving someone who’s flawed doesn’t mean you or that person deserves to be condemned to hell the way the media treats it.

I am a louis girl too!!!!! ❤❤❤

I'm 26 years old and I don't consider myself as a huge 1D fan nor really cared about their personality. Hell, when I was 13 I hated 1D fangirls in my school during those times yet I won't deny that their songs had become nostalgic for me growing up and experiencing middle school in the early 2010's. I even remembered how "What Makes You Beautiful" was playing in the mp3 when I had my first kiss from my (now-ex) girlfriend lol. With that said, as a male I could have shrugged all of this and just moved on but hearing about Liam tragically passing away was enough for me to feel a kind of grief I never experienced before. I mourned not because I was a fan of 1D but because I felt that the world has lost another person to mental troubles that no young person should ever experience. I actually shared similar experiences regarding my mental health with Liam and I know what it's like to lose yourself to such addictions. I just learned about this tragic news while driving home from a morning gym workout (because I live in Asia) and had to pull on the side of the road thinking what happened. I then got home and saw my Facebook feed confirming the news. I feel like my father was really right when he once said that even if you're not a fan, music also serves a way to reminisce your younger days, and I began to really think that 1D's music really defined the 2010's where I really grew up. When I asked my father about this, he told me that he understands the loss of Liam Payne because it was too similar to how in the 1980's he used to be a fan of a Puerto Rican boyband named Menudo and he witnessed how every one of them lost to addiction and mental health issues.

This is so tragic. Everything before and leading up to this event. Liam was a wonderful singer. Regardless of everyone's opinions and life 'directions". We all wish that Liam could have been more protected by harsh social media criticism. Unfortunately for good or bad, he lived and breathed social media. I think that these events happened more frequently than we know. We aren't privy to all the other people that it happens to. We usually here about these events when it happens to a famous person. These drugs don't discriminate.

I have caught op watching Liam video's and there are so many fun and heartfelt vids of him. He was a truly good dude who lost his way for a while. I have been through stuff too around his age and it happens. I often thought what a miracle it is that I've made it through and I just feel so, so bad that he didn't. He was really a fun loving guy at heart.

RIP Liam ❤ I'm still so sad. He was my favorite member.

Had the exact same thing, obsessed from 2012-2014, than it just faded. The morning before him passing I suddenly got these videos in my recommended of Liam, and I watched a bunch of them, for the first time in years really. That night he passed. I was so shocked. Really didn’t think it would effect me this much.

This feeling I feel has made me realise that, for me, "former directioner" will never be a thing. I'm hurting the same way I would have hurt if it had happened in 2015. I'll care about them forever. I feel like this is the most grief I've ever felt in my life and that's just crazy. It's really crazy . . . I relate to a lot you said... Also, I needed to hear that last caption

i had watched a few videos of liam and one direction a few days before he passed away too...i was shocked when i found out

I'm 24 now, but still get that warm feeling watching their videos today. They were like my best friends as a young teen. My 12 year old self would have never expected this for Liam, and I'm so sad that this is how his life panned out 😢

Thanks for making this - all these feelings too

First off, I felt so seen as a fellow Louis girl ‼️ Second off, you perfectly articulated how I feel during this whole thing. It’s really hard and strange

I'm 32, Louis just 7 months older than me and this whole thing crushed me. I was a freshmen in college when they debuted and they became my source of happiness because college is stressful af. I consumed any content from them back then until my obsession fizzled too. My obsession then returns every time I watched a concert from one member because I never had the chance to attend their concerts during their time as a band so every time a member goes to my country I take that as chance to see them live. Im also a Louis girl and when the boys posted their tribute his was the one that made the news real for me. Its just sad that it happened to Liam because not in a million years would I think those things would happen to him, I mean he was marketed as the sensible one during their time as a band, to see him spiral was just heartbreaking. RIP Liam

literally put everything i'm feeling into a video, this is so relatable thank you for sharing :(( i also grew out of 1D bcus of what people thought of me and just listening to new things... that was my whole childhood. this is so comforting during this hard time!!

I’m so damn sad. 💔 we will always miss you Liam

loved this you put the feeling into words so well

Love this format

omg i love your tan off the shoulder shirt!! where did you get it?

😊😊❤😊😊 first comment here 🥰

Hi! What camera do you use for this vlog? Love them!

If she suddenly moved and turned to the right not knowing there’s a knife pointing at her.. Really not funny at all.. That’s a stupid joke..

new subs from PH ❤

Could you please do a What's in my Bag video? that tote is cute!