UnPOHpular Opinions
UnPOHpular Opinions
  • Видео 46
  • Просмотров 12 903
Divorce - How My Children Ruined My Marriage #marriageanddivorce #christianvalues #parenting
My marriage showed cracks after my firstborn and completely broke down after my 3rd. Was it their fault?
Pardon my 1st video's quality. Will continue to try my best with the edits. =D
Просмотров: 597

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  • @Rantsack
    @Rantsack 23 часа назад

    If you're blaming a child for ruining your marriage. It's YOU as a mother or father are the main problems. Don't blame on the kids because YOU'RE the ones raising them.

    • @UnPOHpular
      @UnPOHpular 11 часов назад

      Hi @Rantsack! You are absolutely right. Our kids are exact mirrors to us. So honestly, we cannot avoid responsibilities when they are poorly raised. In my video, I've not blamed my kids (for e.g. their behaviors, their high-maintenance life) for the breakdown of my marriage. Just like what @chloeleung1581 had said, their existence amplified our existing problems. We no longer can turn a blind eye to issues between me and my husband. Thank you for your comment!

  • @chloeleung1581
    @chloeleung1581 День назад

    Personally I don't think that the kids are the problem, but rather that kids amplify all existing problems and really test a couples ability to communicate and resolve conflict. It is also my personal belief that the modern expectation for men to be super involved as reverse to "never present" fathers causes its own set of problems. There's a reason why kitchens have a head chef and a sou chef. Each role is to support the other and achieve an overarching goal, but each has autonomy to perform within their role without constant participation from the other on every decision. Imo no two people will ever align 100% perfectly in every small decision, so the key is to agree in the overall direction and then don't need to sweat the small stuff.

    • @UnPOHpular
      @UnPOHpular 11 часов назад

      Thank you @chloeleung1581 for your opinion! I totally agree with what you've said. Our expectations can be quite extreme and we need to find a balance on both roles. And yes! Too many cooks spoil the broth. I will share with you what I've learnt on Parenting in another video. Hope to see you there!

  • @uncontrolled1413
    @uncontrolled1413 День назад

    Not at all in unpopular opinion, I think a lot of things you mention are very true and should be heard by many more people! Important lessons

    • @UnPOHpular
      @UnPOHpular 11 часов назад

      Hi @uncontrolled1413! Thank you for your affirmation, sharing and your patience in going through my video! I hope to have more useful content to help more people out there.

  • @mrlarrydapuppet4337
    @mrlarrydapuppet4337 5 дней назад

    My mother sometimes does this to me in arguments and it’s very frustrating. I’ll try this

    • @UnPOHpular
      @UnPOHpular 3 дня назад

      Thank you for your comment! Let me know if it works for you =)

  • @niveenbarbarji700
    @niveenbarbarji700 11 дней назад

    How is someone supposed to forgive an action that has been repeated so many times it just feels malicious? How can someone tell the difference between a person not caring enough that they make the mistake enough times and caring?

    • @UnPOHpular
      @UnPOHpular 11 дней назад

      Unfortunately, we cannot control this person who is doing this repeated action. I'm sure you've heard before that forgiveness is for ourselves. Not for the other person. Once we forgive, we stop hating on them, we stop feeling that he/she is malicious towards us. We let go and stop thinking about that. Yes, we are not Jesus but we can try. Trust that God has your back and he/she will be taught a lesson in God's time. Like what you would say 'We will need a miracle for them to change!'. So, wait on God for the miracle.

  • @jehnart
    @jehnart 25 дней назад

    Love it

  • @ChamplooSamurai8
    @ChamplooSamurai8 26 дней назад

    Loved having Christian counselors blaming me for my boyfriends abuse, never going back. Glad you had a good experience though

    • @UnPOHpular
      @UnPOHpular 21 день назад

      Your boyfriend's abuse is not right. But you can definitely hold some accountability for putting yourself in the situation. I don't know what happened but blaming is never the game. It's self reflection and how much you can accept criticisms. That's a hard pill to swallow.

    • @ChamplooSamurai8
      @ChamplooSamurai8 21 день назад

      @UnPOHpular ....how did you take what I said and blame me. He was a toxic manipulator and I was lured into a trap. I was a kid in an extremely abusive household when we started dating. Youre telling me I need to take responsibility for that? I had Christian counselors telling me to stay with my predatory abusive ex because we had sex and it wasn't very Christian to not marry him. The "sex" was rape. But yeah no sure, I won't blame 🙄

    • @UnPOHpular
      @UnPOHpular 13 дней назад

      I'm sorry to hear that you got raped. Like you've said, it's your extremely abusive household that caused you to be drawn towards a predator. So what I meant was for you to seek therapy and solve that traumatic childhood. If not, you will be drawn to the same type of men again. That is also what I meant by taking accountability for your own actions. As a Christian, premarital sex is not acceptable because it's exclusively for married couples. That's why those counselors recommended that. So to prevent that from happening again, we can control ourselves by going to the right environments, mingling with the right people and most importantly, heal ourselves.