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In your scenario, even if one's initial "need" never becomes urgent, the "need" for mutual respect (repayment of the debt) will eventually replace that need, and that replacement need will become urgent (and "ugly", your words).

Respect your viewpoint. But transparency isn’t being upfront about what you are. It’s being open, HONEST, and authentic to the point your partner knows you enough and respects you to not question your actions because she/he trusts your actions based on your authenticity. Again I ❤your point. But being upfront about everything can be more problematic than helpful. No do not keep secrets but there is a time and place to share certain information. I’m not telling you I was a cheater in my 20s if that is not who am anymore 20 years later. What’s the point in that? But if I was always one and suddenly changed when I met yeah that’s something you should know.

I strive to practice this with my wife. Transparency plus I'm free and ok sharing myself with Her!!! I said Her a real woman. Lol I'm just saying

You teaching sir!!! 22:26

My ex and I want to work on our relationship, we broke up and he is giving me a second chance but I needed this video greatly to help me build his trust in me. I appreciated being open about EVERYTHING even if it doesnt seem like a big deal and to make sure there are NO MORE SECRETS. I absolutely need this. I also have to learn how to comfort him because being around him hurts him and when I'm away it hurts him, I feel helpless but I will continue to keep working hard.

Clifton, about the forgiveness part. What do you do when the man appears to treat your forgiveness as a pass. "Oh she forgives me, she'll forgive me Everytime" .???? How do you not even start that cycle? Thanks

this is how men become weak beta's ....

When my ex said he never lied to me after he was caught cheating on me with 2 different women. His logic was he never lied to me because I never asked him if he was cheating!

Yessir great advice

Sounds like a prisoner. Like I tell my wife you don’t own me I’m not your property

My God!!!!...going though is right now😢

That’s good

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Got knock backs ….. stopped “initiating” and now treat her like a neighbour. Funnily she doesn’t like it at times. Women have no control once a man stops wanting sex from them.

I can handle rejection fine, my reluctance to initiate comes from not wanting my wife to feel pressured. (The less I initiate, the more she will feel pressure if I do.) So, I don't. Dammed if I do, Dammed if I don't.

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Thank you Brother Clifton, your message is healing me.

PREACH 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

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God is love so marriage should be respected 💕 🙏

My husband has been cheating on me since we got married i try every possible to stop him but no avail😢 am leaving the marriage

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Peace brother . Thank you so much for your wisdom and guidance

damn... but women also get laid with guys that they dont know.... cheat with a guy that they just met in a bar... dont even know his name.... no "connection" at all .. just physical attraction ....and have torrid sex without questions.... soooo?

Because women dont want sex and I dont like men.

You are amazing you are so clear can concise with your advice. I went to your video because I'm currently just dating a guy. We encountered a little hiccup which I personally don't wish to deal with. Cheating after drinking. I know that no relationship is absolute. But the fact that we're not even married triggered me to seek some additional help before abandoning our connection. However the fact that it's happening before we even decide to go further in the commitment. Concerns me because at this time I can walk away unscathed with just a few tears. I so appreciate your help it gave me clarity. Sometimes we think we can resolve things in our own head. And, be our own therapist. I consider myself to be a very grounded rational person. But my feelings for this gentleman are different than some of the other relationships I've had in the past. So before I made this decision I want to make sure that I looked at all my possible resources. He's not an idol for me because I actually do love myself first. I just want to make sure I'm crossing all my t's and dotting on my i's. I said all that to say that thank you thank you for sharing your knowledge on RUclips. I'm trusting God that I'm making the right decision. And I stay in prayer. And hope that my decision leads me towards growth. But thank you so very much. 🙏🏽

The cheater also needs to go NO CONTACT with the affair partner. And if the cheater has a porn addiction - they need help. The victim needs to do things for themselves like going to the gym so they're not stuck. Working out helps the mind and the body. It lowers your stress and levels out your resting heart rate and blood pressure. It keeps you moving and releases aggression. When you focus on your form while you're exercising you don't have intrusive thoughts, you're not thinking about anyone but yourself and that's a good thing. Working out clears your mind and gets you out of the fog.

What about if he is still cheating 😩

I always enjoy your videos. Much better than all these toxic alpha gurus out here. Appreciate the insight brotha.

Really really useful. Thank you! I'm in the very destructive stage and even though I've decided to stay, I need to manage that much better.

Archive it😂

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Please help me understand 🤗 If love is sacrificial giving for the benefit of the person you are loving, doesn't learning to speak their love laguage so that they feel loved fall into that sacrificial giving🤔

"You have to divorce the fantasy in your head so that you can stay married to the stranger in your bed" 🙌👏👏👏

So glad I stumbled upon your channel...thanks for your great material 🙏🤗

Thanks so much...great tips

I stepped out of the relationship and entertained a total of 3 other men online never in person, he found out and chose to revenge cheat. He messaged other women online bought pictures and received free pictures as well. I’m a very insecure woman and I’ve been dwelling on the fact that the other women have no resemblances to me in any way not race not weight nothing. So it really hurts because in my eyes he sought out those women because that’s what he actually wants. He’s apologized and I’ve apologized it’s been about 3-4 months since everything came out but nothing is getting better because I can’t stop dwelling on it and bringing up how I feel that he’s not attracted to me anymore. I desperately need advice as someone who struggles with depression and self harm this has been a terrible ride. I just want us to be okay again and to move on but I really can’t move on it’s been impossible to not even think about.

A lot of women their hormones are out of whack after a couple to a few years in the relationship especially after having kids. Women need to exercise, eat a more magnesium and omega 3 filled diet AND drink their water, eat their salads / whole grains - you her partner will see a world of a difference in her libido.

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so basically if it’s not as you said “ to your own detriment “

good example is just doing the dishes or taking out the trash or coming in the kitchen if she’s cooking and just count up behind her and wrapping your arms around her and kiss her .. small maybe but still stuff you do not to be rewarded but just because it comes naturally and just done because you live them

and visa versa don’t try to “prove” your love but rather just live them in the ways you’ve spoken about..