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I did undergrad in marine biology, and this academia bubble popped for me when one of my professors said “economics have no place in aquaculture/ agriculture”. For context, I live in Ireland, where the agriculture industries are obviously to the development of my country So completely out of touch. I wanted to scream

The only truly consequential thing you could have done in your life is having kids, and that train seems to have pretty conclusively left the station. So relax and do whatever the hell you feel like without regret/embarrassment/fear/etc

I just finished a Master’s degree in Art Therapy, but decided during my last year of the program that the field wasn’t the right fit for me. I cringe every time someone excitedly compliments me on my achievement, and asks what my plans are for work. It’s so complicated and personal to explain. Most of my cohort has taken the straightforward path into counseling careers, and I feel like I’m lost and starting all over again, but I don’t regret choosing a different path.

I don't know how I ran onto your videos but I'm glad I did :) Thanks for your vulnerability and expressing your thoughts openly and without any bullshit! You are on a good track of self discovery. I started mine only 2 years ago , when I was 37 and I'm still in a place of stuckness , also being abroad far away from my home country and family so I can absolutely relate to your story and have been through many of the same reflections. It seems like we'd have a lot to share and talk about :) :) Take care, all the best!

This popped up in my feed- maybe the algorithm knew that I'm also a North American living in London (7 years this month!). London does always feel like such an expensive place- and tricky to build a sense of community in. I found a lot of solace in finding a solo-but-can-be-friendly physical hobby to be really helpful. I started running, starting with couch to 5k to eventually a half marthon, and seeing my fitness improve from a week to week basis was really helpful and helped me shift focus from only 'do job and pay money to enjoy life' to another way I could feel successful. Now I do lots of parkruns, run clubs, etc- I'm still a *very* slow runner, but it's a really nice way to build connections in the long run. I still love going on long runs as a way to explore London and see lots of nooks and crannies you miss using public transport. My partner found a similar scene at local bouldering gyms, and I'm now lifting at a very friendly local gym (the more independent and 'ratty' the better). At the end of the day, it's not really just about 'getting fit', but finding another source of dopamine and sense of personal progress. Hope that's a helpful tip or suggestion- London can be so wonderful, but also a bit of a struggle!

I think you should hold your nose and go teach at a High School. The pay and benefits are good and you can teach the next generations of kids what not to do in College.

This is amazing.... not only the reflections but particularly the fact that you chase fashion, cats and socialism content... replace cats for dogs and we have the same search history comrade.

I went to a very research-oriented engineering school and when I started working at the Patent Office and considering law school I felt like I was "selling out" by not doing research. So I applied for a PhD and was planning to go back and be an engineering researcher, even though I didn't really like research after having done summer jobs in labs. I ended up not getting graduate housing and my lab being far off campus where I would be alone and no housing nearby. That convinced me not to go back. I ended up staying at the Patent Office, going to law school at night, and becoming a patent attorney. Very glad I did NOT get that PhD, for me, it would have been the wrong decision. Ironically, I met some of the brightest people from my class who DID go for the PhD and they are not working in my engineering field (materials), one does financial advising, one runs a software security company although both had worked in materials engineering. Meanwhile, as a patent attorney, I do many semiconductor, battery, and nanotech patent applications, all in Asia where most of the work is these days, outsourced myself many years ago to Asia. No regrets. You never know where life leads.

Thanks for the video. I was on the verge of doing a literature PhD in the UK but finally decided against. It was a huuuge life crisis for me because that had been mi life plan for years. I haven’t regretted my decision since. I love my current job despite not being an academic, I work with kids and teens, I’m in my hometown close to my family and I could start a life with my partner which would have been impossible if I’d stayed in the UK trying to fight for funding every now and then. I miss university but it was just not worth it giving up on everything else. PhDs are just for people who can afford not to work or have good connections.

Hi Sarah. I don't comment often but seeing this video made me reflect on my life as of late. I feel, in many ways, I'm the same boat. I left behind a whole life in academia and philosophy (one I wanted follow through in its entirety. I love the aura it inspires and the way I see the world through it) for various reason and now...well..I'm not sure anymore. I had a large part of my identity being a certain type of person for years. Now, I feel like I don't have that anchor to align the rest of my goals around. And I don't necessarily think that the life I lead currently reflects that vibrancy and magic I once had either, nor are my goals and ambitions as clear as they once were. And I'm nervous to make a bold move into the unknown because I don't, per say, have a guttural drive to do any particular thing as I once did. Right now, I feel like I'm trying to maintain that old perception I once had on life, like it's a muscle I don't want to lose. There have been some positive trade-offs to changing over the years and I certainly have a stong sense of self. But I'm just not sure where to go and what point to focus my life towards (if that's even the "right" idea anymore). A bubble definitely burst for me and hearing your story makes me think that maybe the confusion, ambiguity and uncertainty is a valuable and fruitful phase of life. Anyway, thanks!

I appreciated this - my 28th birthday is coming up this month and I find myself drawn to advice from women navigating their thirties!!

This was so lovely to watch. Thank you.

its so weird to find these underated gems

A can of King Oscar Sardines, and a salty bready snack is my favorite

onto something here

Booze and snacks, nothing better.

Nice talk but I think the music is just too much. ❤

My summer is nostalgia summer, I just think about the good old times and forget to live now.

I am 27 and i can relate and feel whatever you said.. We are growing ,we are getting change , and this change is important . We are entering a new era of ourselves ❤

Thank you so much for making this video! I feel exactly the same way about my upcoming PhD. My defense/viva is in September, and I do want to do well, but I could not care less about the award or title. I've also never wanted to be an academic. I enjoy research and writing, but on my own terms, and I disdain people who are obsessed with having their name cited. I'm also a "creative" person, I guess.

Thanks for a great video. Very relatable.

Thank you so much. I found it the most relatable video on PhD on RUclips, to me. I also did not dream of it and I definitely feel trapped to continue playing the silly game of academia. Good on you for following your dream.

You could get a 2nd or 3rd phd!🙃 if it was so great during that time lol. Personally, as a feminine woman myself who also enjoys intellelectualism and enjoyed a lot of academia.. I think most women will not find fulfillment without being invested mothers who focus on that..I realize that's an unpopular opinion now, but I believe strongly that's why many women feel lost and unfulfilled nowadays, including many career women who appear less lost. I don't think ambition and overwork is a very female trait (testosterone creates high energy etc..), plus that's just my observation and also personal experience. But anyway it can take time to explore yourself and life and what is for you, I would know😊 God bless with that❤

Thanks for sharing, I have a very similar story and I can definitely empathise with the "embarrassment to have a PhD" you describe, as well as that feeling of being lost in life, and needing to postpone the decision about what to do. I also did part of my masters and my PhD in the UK, and it was exactly to be abroad, and specifically in the UK, and because of the lifestyle more than anything else. So yeah I can relate to a lot of what you said, I thought I was alone, ahh! :)

I got a masters degree, while I was there it felt like a good thing to do w my time, but I’m not sure I’d do it again

Loved the rant / life-lesson!

But like what program did you study, if it was in medicine or something like that it would be useful, but if it was in arts or something random def not worth it.

thanks for sharing! youtube will push anything trashing academia to my feed (and despite what you say, there is A LOT of that, and no wonder) and you bet I'll watch it. At least originally impostor syndrome was about feeling like an impostor, ure discussing being one here. I don't think you should feel ashamed if you reason through it, most people still believe academia is still respectable so they won't think low of you, and for those who do maybe you can show this video, that explains that you are not really a leech. I think you shouldn't want a world where academia not only is not serious but also it doesn't take itself seriously though. You should want a world where academia either deserves the money it gets or disappears. Nothing wrong with intellectual curiosity and freedom, as long as whatever feeds you is actually useful for society. If you think adulthood should be about having fun then maybe you should feel ashamed. Having fun is fine but you shouldn't take money you don't deserve 💀. Actual jobs are not much better though. I'm in a similar position too, I'm in optimization and it is fun and I learn and whatnot but is it a huge public money pit, where we spend years to develop some tool for the european comission to go "cool, but we will never use it cause it's too complex, have these milliions", as if if they used it they would save the world. I cope telling myself it's the same shit anywhere (which is true).

Love it..🥰 can relate soooo much ..with everything I’m 34 at the same point as u.. I wanna be writer as well…can’t wait to see more ❤

I love this and agree fully. this really captures how I feel about this but haven't been able to put into words. are you an enfj by any chance..? 🪩

LOVE THE WAY YOU TALK...😭💗🙆🌟

i was liking your conclusion when it began with the idea of staying true to yourself, and yet then it veered into this thread about other people. and yet i couldn't help hearing the entirety of the vid to contain the subtext that the most truthful, actualized version of you at that time would've been to admit that you needed to be free, that you most wanted to experience being available to what was around you, and that, while being noble in fidelity to what you were involved in over distance, wasn't serving your deepest wants to be in it, at the time. sometimes being self-true with that is the hardest thing, as it does involve the feelings of two. i hope you get to be swept up in the immediate and proximal in the way that quenches your constitution. i think whoever loved you from afar, if they truly loved you, would want the same.

I think it's okay if you didn't absolutely love NY! your life is one big journey and as long as you're enjoying the ride, you'll be okay ❤ sending you support!! thanks for sharing this video 🥰

loveddd this video <3 from a fellow content creator !! from the uk but DESPERATE to move to the usa

Cant wait till you drop the personal essays link :p

I spent my early- mid twenties in London as well. After going back, I noticed the city has changed a lot. Combination of the Pandemic+ Brexit perhaps? Could be my age as well, but it’s definitely lost its shine for me. I can relate to a lot of the things you’ve touched on

First of all, girl, you're really brave for exposing yourself like this. It's hard to realize that you've been living your life for no reason besides expectations and an increased likelihood at living averagely happy, and its even harder to then realize you dont want what you're headed toward. And, even though I am a complete rando to you, and you dont need the reassurance because its obvious youre starting to head in the right direction if only because of this video and your self realizations- I think you're going to be just fine. You're talented. From the way you speak, it's obvious you're a writer, and a good one at that. Have you ever made videos before? You have such a great flow- your editing style is so unique and refreshing, + you've got a good ear for music choices. I really love the vibe this puts out-it's like if one of the girls in Girls had a RUclips channel. I hope you keep making videos.