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I wouldn't say that any advice implies an expectation so much as a suggestion. No, you shouldn't burn yourself out, but if you see a problem and want to do something about it, then you also shouldn't talk yourself out of helping someone where you can. Helping someone stand on a hurt foot doesn't automatically make you a crutch, right? I think the question is good, tbh, but it's a very subjective and complicated answer that will vary from person to person. I would not say that either of us (gwam or I) are the end-all, be-all, of course, but if you ask me, love is meant to be something you work for. It shouldn't become a chore, necessarily, but with the initial post being as vague as it was I just hope the encouragement to engage with the problem from different perspectives creates more conversations like this where we can reasonably approach helping each other as much as we want to help ourselves.

@@hestiuhhh Yeah my question comes from my experience. My ex refused to get help which ended up forcing everyone around him to take care of him but he couldn't admit that either. I continue working on trying not to end up jaded and mean as a result. I'm learning to enforce my own boundaries so I can help only within my means.

@@eileenblum9976 Important wisdom there to be found in at least doing your best, taking a "no good deed goes unpunished" on the chin, and learning what your limits and boundaries are <3 glad to hear that you are able to transmute that negative experience into valuable lessons for the future :3

Absolutely, very much in love with the idea of her but flinching at the idea of putting actions to words. Yikes on bikes

I didn't know this! I've heard of some other adjacent mythological analogies but missed this somehow, so thanks for letting me know