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I love when her daughter says, Dad’s eating fruit 😂

Love this interview Laurie! Tysm.

The only solution is to fall in love with Jesus Christ. ...surrender your life and he will put everything back together in HIS perfect will and timing!

Good for the wife to marry another man!

I’ll be praying for her. Someone I love attempted suicide twice and it is very difficult to go through for everyone. I pray for God’s strength and protection over her head and heart. 💛

These married men should be single and remain single because they will never fully commit to anyone. Any femalle that tells him hello he is going to want to have sex with them!

Do people cheat 1st because they think they will be cheated on ?

Yes church will help to stay busy

Chapters. They're not bad.

Why would a good man want to deal with a woman with many issues? Life is too short.

My partner completely follows the script of a MLC but we weren’t married and don’t have kids(these were all being planned) . I have to see him in passing at work but we don’t have any reason to communicate. He walks past me looking angry and like I don’t exist. How on earth can I navigate this??

Excellent story. Engaging guest. Thoughtful interview questions. Inspiring & helpful. Thank you!

i'm living this at this very moment, feels like we drifted apart because everything seemed to be more important than us, then our last child moved off to college and my wife walked out two or three months later. I'm currently working like mad to save my marriage, this video gives me hope.

Her story is so common. We adopted kids, they gained a Mother and I essentially lost a Wife.

SSRI's also kill you libido and THAT really destroys your connection

How do I contact you and the lady on the video?

How do I contact you?

My husband left me after 23 years and is now with his mistress.

Yeah a young women thinks she knows more than her older father, but she wouldn’t last a week in the world that He as man, has to live in… “Self-made Man” is a book written by a woman who pretended to be a man for two years. She was in shock after about the reality that Men live in, diferent from the easy fairy tale world women live

Not gonna lie i think this isn’t entirely exclusive to mid life crisis. Not that i would know, im 25.

Why are they saying he has smooth brain? Probably just needs some compassion as he finds his way 🙏

He still is not fully facing the damage he caused. They did not "grow apart" and he conveys that at times, but still embelishes that narrative that they grew apart. His kids are surprised it didnt happen sooner because of his behavior, not because they "hrew apart". His youngest recognizes he abandoned them, yet his attitude is that its fine because he sees her twice a month. MLCers also recognize them yelling requirements at their spouse, as conversations and agreemants. The level of disconnect from their actions is insane. You will recognize him eluding to being at fault, then downplaying his behavior and blaming those around him in the next paragraph. They speak as though they have it all figured out and that they are through the MLC, throughout the entire MLC. This guy is still in the thick of it

The basis of MLC is the inability to cope with trauma. It is the difference between transition and crisis. He blames his wife for her getting sick, while he admits that he didnt know how to address it. He makes excuses by stating she was depressed, while the truth is his subconcious doesnt know how it would cope with the loss of her (Grief of loss of a loved one). His attachment to her is what made it traumatic, not a poor relationship. It was a change in his life he didnt want to face. The change in his career (grief of loss of identity), is what caused him to completely disconnect emotionally from reality, just to chase feeling anything again (escape and avoid). He will continue to do that until he faces the reality of the damage he caused and copes with those traumas (the shadow). Some people never do, and spend the rest of their lives running. Lets also not forget the trauma he caused his wife and kids by his discard behaviour which MLCers never want to face or admit to. Every MLCer emotionally abandons the spouse and rewrites history. They gas light, lie, stonewall, and scream at those closest to them to justify their teenage behavior. They cause more trauma than they ever had to face themselves

My husband says he is in a midlife crisis, says he wants to experience other women and another child. He says he lives me, doesn't really want me to leave and says he doesn't even want to be single. But, hecwants ne to move out. We are looking at houses for Mr to purchase, I'm so confused! He says he will help me fix up the house, help move me in and I can keep my horses at his place for a year. He said there is no reason to cut tied fast. I'm so confused and hurt. 14 years this Christmas.

This encourages me and I can relate. We are coming out of my husband's MLC after 5 years. We had a baby right before this happened, too. I remember when our baby was a few months old, putting him to bed around 10:00 or 11:00 pm and waiting up for my husband to come home from work to spend time together. He wouldn't show up. Months or maybe a year later, still very much in the beginning/throes of his MLC, him telling me it was because after work, he would go to a restaurant, sit there and order whatever he wanted, and just feel sorry for himself. He gained maybe 30 lbs around that time and then lost it through more stress. An on and on for years. A living nightmare. I didn't begin to piece things together and understand what to call what he was going through until last year. Plus, we already had a young teen daughter. So, a long, hard row to hoe. We've been married 24 years. I was 17, he was 20 when we married.

Very well explained!!

I did help, a number of times. It was the right thing to do and some of the people needed help real bad, but I only felt worse afterwards and wanted to die. Imagine somebody stuck in a wheel helping other people stuck in wheelchairs and unable to get up and walk to get out of THEIR wheelchairs but his situation can't be helped. Does he do the right thing and help those people even though he feels worse when he does. That would still be pretty selfish and self centered if he could do get someone in a wheelchair who otherwise could never walk out of it but was too hurt to do it.

Stay With A Narcissist??!

Thank you so much Pam for sharing your story. I’am not crazy after all ahahahah! Thank you too Laurie. We’re learning a lot about this MLC issue. God bless us all.

My husband left me for another woman. But I am stuck in the same home with home with him. 😢

So many similar things to my story. My Husband left 2 weeks ago. I am shattered.

Thanks so much Pam for sharing your story. You are the backbone of your family. I've learned so much from how you gave your h good grace. You're a good person and I believe he's back for good 🙏 ❤

Can’t wait for the follow up interview..I’m rooting for him💪🏼💪🏼 Great interview and I can see Laurie probing for the mid life crisis trigger..

I am so happy to find you through the grace of God!!

If you are such an expert . Why did he cheat . I am 58 . I can tell you this if you got divorced look in the mirror cause 50 percent of that divorce is your fault.

Nawlins

You're not hot lady Your a mess.

You are great. I don’t want to be negative but as a man it makes me sad to know there aren’t as many resources for men with this type of positive message. So many therapist/coaches on RUclips for men struggling with divorce always seem to justify or excuse the woman’s choice to leave in one way or another. They basically say let her go and don’t fight for the relationship. And those are the good ones.

This is brilliant stuff. I’d heard of the drama triangle before but he put it perfectly in context to a divorce (for me). Thank you

I love your stuff so far but your intro declaration makes no sense. Men have an easier time getting their wives back because she has friends advising her and he doesn’t? And “they (men) don’t know what to do”? Plus women can leverage sex. My cousin is doing it with her ex-husband. It seems to be working.

Great stuff. Wish you gave examples where the wife went through a midlife crisis.

my ex wife kept cheating on me

My dead husband had affair , cheated on me , kept lies and secrets , lead a double life Found out from his phone after his death Imagine the grief and pain at first then the hurt , anger , bitterness , betrayal etc… My heart was broken into millions of pieces Better off without a liar and he die tragically carrying a burden of lies and secrets to his grave

Maybe he's just sick of your BS. Ever think of that?

My wife won't move - she is perpetually stuck in frozen mode. Does not want to address or confront the elephant in the room - she has abandoned physical affection and sex for about 16 years and hasn't even kissed me for over 8. Still says I love you, occasional hug, holds hands - but nothing sexual - it's simply killing our relationship 1,000 tiny cuts at a time. I am at a loss. we are in marriage counseling, but no amount of talk and communication will make desire or even responsive desire happen. She refuses hormone checks, therapy or professional one on one counseling. It's like being trapped on a sinking ship, If I bail the kids pay the price. Kids are adopted BTW, so post partum is not an issue.

would like to see one about Wives who withdraw physical and sexual intimacy for years or decades - What do you expect? After experiencing my own sexless marriage without as much as a kiss for over 8 years and essentially sexless for the last 16 - how do you think this will work?

The curse of the late forties woman. Been there done that. Was on the receiving end of a wife of twenty two years who wanted a divorce before it's too late so she could find herself and so on. Complete crap of course, she didn't love me and probably never did and a scumbag from her office decided to interfere in our marriage and destabilize her brain, which was in turmoil anyway due to the menopause. So she collapsed our marriage, wrecked my life and damaged our three children. Odd really because she had been on the receiving end of same when her dad walked out 40 years before. She then set about turning my three boys against me and was surprisingly successful at it, so much so my eldest son got married without me even knowing he was engaged! Then she engineered him into the idea that not telling me about grandchildren was a good idea. Bizarrely she wanted to attend my mother's funeral. I sent her a message that said 'fuck off'. I now look back and wish I'd never met the woman. Oh and by the way I wasn't having an affair, she was.

Late 40s and 50s marriages are interesting to watch and in some cases fall apart. In my experience, women love opportunistically, men love idealistically. Guys are pretty loyal. Show then any little bit of unsolicited affection, respect them, focus on the family not just yourself and give them some occasional time in the bedroom....happy husband. He'll work 50 hours a week to provide and go to war to protect your family in most cases. Women are more complicated, especially once the kids get older, menopause and midlife crises set in. Its now about them and what they still want to achieve, which to some extent I understand....but you can't ignore what/who got you there. The house, kids education, family vacations, weekly food, clothing cars, spending money etc. didn't magically appear without the help of a significant other. Most recently, I know a couple getting divorced after almost 30 years because he cheated.....well if you never tell him you love him, don't give him the slightest bit of recognition and sleep with him once a year, a good looking successful businessman will get a side piece. Its going to happen.

Doing my best to not grow weary in doing good working in the waiting but so desire more help even trusting God.

I agree if more mothers & fathers up i believe more families would be reconciled