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Dr. Amber Tichenor, PhD
США
Добавлен 8 ноя 2019
Hello! I’m Dr. Amber Tichenor and I'm an expert in Female Rivalry and Psychological Safety.
Good people walk when they feel unseen, unheard, and psychologically unsafe. I’ve collected stories and observed behavior, and I’ve personally felt the impact of toxic cultures in the workplace that lead to good employees walking out the door. But I also know that it doesn’t have to be this way.
I help organizations regain hope and discover new pathways to success by changing corporate culture and creating psychological safety. I'm passionate about helping people find their voice so they can speak up and find their place in the world. I have a PhD in Industrial & Organizational Psychology, am the author of 'Behind Frenemy Lines: Rising Above Female Rivalry To Be Unstoppable Together,' am an accredited facilitator for individual and team assessments for the Academy of Brain based Leadership, for the Psychological S.A.F.E.T.Y.™ Assessment, and have been a featured guest on over 50 podcasts.
Good people walk when they feel unseen, unheard, and psychologically unsafe. I’ve collected stories and observed behavior, and I’ve personally felt the impact of toxic cultures in the workplace that lead to good employees walking out the door. But I also know that it doesn’t have to be this way.
I help organizations regain hope and discover new pathways to success by changing corporate culture and creating psychological safety. I'm passionate about helping people find their voice so they can speak up and find their place in the world. I have a PhD in Industrial & Organizational Psychology, am the author of 'Behind Frenemy Lines: Rising Above Female Rivalry To Be Unstoppable Together,' am an accredited facilitator for individual and team assessments for the Academy of Brain based Leadership, for the Psychological S.A.F.E.T.Y.™ Assessment, and have been a featured guest on over 50 podcasts.
The Queen of Mean: Overcoming A Vicious Vixen at Work, Part I
A 2021 survey from the Workplace Bullying Institute (WBI) states that 30% of adults (76.4 million workers), are bullied at work.
• 61.3% of bullying is same gender
• 65% of women bullied are by females
😳 These are staggering statistics!
🥹I’ve experienced it first-hand and know how traumatic it is to be on the receiving end of the ‘Queen of Mean,’ especially, at work.
💡The term ‘mean girl,’ that’s frequently used, belittles the seriousness of this behavior and dismisses the cold-hard-truth that when this behavior is on-going and escalates it’s a form of BULLYING, that’s more common than sexual harassment and racial discrimination.
Unfortunately, workplace bullying has become normalized.
🎙️🎶In...
• 61.3% of bullying is same gender
• 65% of women bullied are by females
😳 These are staggering statistics!
🥹I’ve experienced it first-hand and know how traumatic it is to be on the receiving end of the ‘Queen of Mean,’ especially, at work.
💡The term ‘mean girl,’ that’s frequently used, belittles the seriousness of this behavior and dismisses the cold-hard-truth that when this behavior is on-going and escalates it’s a form of BULLYING, that’s more common than sexual harassment and racial discrimination.
Unfortunately, workplace bullying has become normalized.
🎙️🎶In...
Просмотров: 16
Видео
Transform Your Corporate Team.
Просмотров 11Месяц назад
⁉️😳Did you know, “42% of employee turnover is preventable, but often ignored?” 💡Additionally, a recent Gallup poll taken in May shared that the risk of employee turnover is at its highest since 2015, with over 51% of employees looking for other opportunities. (Gallup, 2024). 🥹This statistic is staggering! What does it mean for employers? 👋🏼 Buh-bye Felicia! Time, talent, and money just walked o...
Your Tribe IS Your Vibe!
Просмотров 12Месяц назад
⁉️Did you know we feel lonely when we feel like we don’t belong or don’t have a connection to others? Loneliness, defined as, “Perceived social isolation,” is a signal that we need social connection. A (2015) study on loneliness, highlights the fundamental necessity of needing to belong, “Living with air pollution increases your odds of dying early by 5%. Living with obesity increases your odds...
Squad Goals. Why Connection With The Right People Matters
Просмотров 294 месяца назад
😳I once dated a great guy but didn’t like how he treated his mother. In my gut I knew if he treated his mom poorly, he’d eventually do the same to me. I was right. 👋🏼 Bye-bye, Felicia! 💡You’re probably familiar with the following motivational speaker quote, “You're the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” It’s definitely something to think about. ⁉️Who has your attention, w...
Mean Girls Suck: Tips To Control Your Emotions When Dealing With A Bully
Просмотров 555 месяцев назад
“My daughter was profoundly bullied by a group of girls. The school was aware of it but didn’t do anything. The behavior in the mean girl group was so calculated that daily in the carpool line after school, they selected a different girl to stand with my daughter so she wasn’t standing alone. This wasn’t done out of niceness. Rather, to appear to faculty that she was ‘friends with them’ so outw...
Teenage Turmoil: Tackling Cyberbullying Frenemies To Foster Psychological Safety, Part 4
Просмотров 165 месяцев назад
I recently listened to a Podcast series called “Three.” It’s about a friendship triangle where two best friends turned on the other and killed her simply because, ‘they didn’t like her anymore.’ The tension between them became hostile and violent, they didn’t know how to stop the conflict so in their teenage minds, killing her was the best way to handle it. “ An extreme example? Yes, absolutely...
Teenage Turmoil: Tackling Cyberbullying Frenemies To Foster Psychological Safety, Part 3
Просмотров 106 месяцев назад
I was recently talking with some teens about cyberbullying and how frequently it occurs. Unbeknownst to parents, one of the more frequent forms of cyberbullying harassment is ‘sexting,’ defined as, “the sending of sexually suggestive or explicit messages in text, image or video form.” Amongst teens it’s also called, ‘sexts, noodles, or nudes.’ As it pertains to cyberbullying, it’s typically sha...
Teenage Turmoil: Tackling Cyberbullying Frenemies To Foster Psychological Safety, II (B)
Просмотров 86 месяцев назад
“Still got scars on my back from your knife, so don’t think it’s in the past. These kinds of wounds they last and they last.” -Taylor Swift, Bad Blood, 1989 💡Cyberbullying is bullying. Cyberbullying has a very negative impact on teens. Consequences of teenage cyberbullying extends beyond the phone or computer and can have harmful, long-lasting effects on a victims mental and emotional well-bein...
“Teenage Turmoil: Tackling Cyberbullying Frenemies To Foster Psychological Safety, II (A)
Просмотров 106 месяцев назад
“Still got scars on my back from your knife, so don’t think it’s in the past. These kinds of wounds they last and they last.” -Taylor Swift, Bad Blood, 1989 💡Cyberbullying is bullying. Cyberbullying has a very negative impact on teens. Consequences of teenage cyberbullying extends beyond the phone or computer and can have harmful, long-lasting effects on a victims mental and emotional well-bein...
"Teenage Turmoil: Tackling Cyberbully Frenemies To Foster Psychological Safety" (Part 1,B)
Просмотров 127 месяцев назад
"Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me. And all you're are ever gonna be is mean.” -Taylor Swift, Mean, Speak Now, 2010 My teenage daughter was cyberbullied. The negative behavior started over two years ago with a picture and cruel words on social media. Last Fall, it escalated into many posts. SnapChat was the tool of choice and several of the spiteful updates included photos of my da...
“Teenage Turmoil: Tackling Cyberbully Frenemies To Foster Psychological Safety” (Part1,A)
Просмотров 167 месяцев назад
"Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me. And all you are ever gonna be is mean.” -Taylor Swift, Mean, Speak Now, 2010 My teenage daughter was cyberbullied. The negative behavior started over two years ago with a picture and cruel words on social media. Last Fall, it escalated into many posts. SnapChat was the tool of choice and several of the spiteful updates included photos of my daugh...
International Women's Day 2024: Building Bridges, Not Walls
Просмотров 28 месяцев назад
♥️🎉March is celebrated as ‘International Women’s Month’ and today, March 8th, is International Women’s Day! It’s one of my favorite days of the year because it celebrates the sisterhood! 🎉♥️ It’s not just a date on the calendar it's a powerful symbol of solidarity, progress, and the on-going struggle for gender equality. 💡This day matters because it serves as a catalyst for change by honoring a...
5 Ways To Create A Culture Where People Feel Authentic.
Просмотров 108 месяцев назад
This video shares 5 ways to create a culture where people feel authentic. 1. Encourage open communication and feedback. 2. Promote active listening and empathy. 3. Lead with vulnerability and openness. 4. Establish clear expectations and guidelines. 5. Provide supportive resources and development opportunities.
Healthy Workplace Cultures: How Psychologically Safe Is Your Team?
Просмотров 249 месяцев назад
💡Workplace Culture: It’s a feeling that’s hard to identify. It’s very ambiguous to decipher when you’re on the outside looking in. It’s often, ‘more than hazy’ (at best), when you’re smack dab in the middle of it. Workplace culture plays a significant role in shaping the identity of the organization, and Psychological Safety is a crucial component of it all! Creating a Psychologically Safe work...
Safe Spaces, Strong Teams: Understanding Psychological Safety
Просмотров 329 месяцев назад
Safe Spaces, Strong Teams: Understanding Psychological Safety
Dare To Thrive: Embracing 'All In, No Regrets' Through The Lens Of Psychological Safety
Просмотров 1010 месяцев назад
Dare To Thrive: Embracing 'All In, No Regrets' Through The Lens Of Psychological Safety
Sometimes New Beginnings Start With Good-Bye.
Просмотров 2810 месяцев назад
Sometimes New Beginnings Start With Good-Bye.
Connection With The Right People Matters.
Просмотров 3111 месяцев назад
Connection With The Right People Matters.
Psychological Safety, Friendship, and Falling Leaves. Part II.
Просмотров 5011 месяцев назад
Psychological Safety, Friendship, and Falling Leaves. Part II.
Psychological Safety, Friendship, and Falling Leaves. Part I.
Просмотров 51Год назад
Psychological Safety, Friendship, and Falling Leaves. Part I.
Psychological Safety + Mindfulness: Are You Mindful About Your Mindset?
Просмотров 27Год назад
Psychological Safety Mindfulness: Are You Mindful About Your Mindset?
Autonomy, Love, Vulnerability and Humility.
Просмотров 28Год назад
Autonomy, Love, Vulnerability and Humility.
Sisterhood Squad Goals: What Are Yours?
Просмотров 21Год назад
Sisterhood Squad Goals: What Are Yours?
🥊Impacts of Female Rivalry: You're Not Alone.
Просмотров 84Год назад
🥊Impacts of Female Rivalry: You're Not Alone.
Is there really any hope?
I have to stop listening. Seconds in.
Some who obtain PHD’s in clinical psychology use this level of education a d training to hone their mean girl skills. I have encountered this more than once, in the workplace.
I have also experienced this from my local parish priest- a male.
My husband did all this. As well as women
I complained to my boss and called what it was - mean mob. They were faced with consequences and went underground. Still hostile, but careful with me.
Well done- a wonder the boss had the back bone to deal with it. Respect to you both.
Many of my male friends simply aren't communicators so that makes me the initiator. This is frustrating because I can't tell if it's me or if it's them. I've heard that when women communicate they talk about personal things (family, kids, their homes) When men communicate they talk about sports or their jobs. I've found this to be mostly true.
Experience it today I was shocked 😳 and took off guard you will be surprised how PHONIE AND FAKE a person can be or how sneaky
Laugh at them when they start acting up. They realize how pathetic their behavior is and stop. They'll start again later. Laugh at them again.
I honestly struggle with this behavior so much because I always give people the benefit of the doubt and I know people can put their “foot in their mouth” and say the wrong thing so I always dismiss it and then I don’t know if I’m being too sensitive for something being said or what to say since often the conversation moves forward so quickly after the “off” comment. I wish I was more skilled to know when to speak up and how to speak up.
❤❤❤
This has been so helpful for me. Thanks for sharing
I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I'm glad though, this was helpful to you. I appreciate your comment.
Frienemies and narcissistic family are the worse . Not just women have frienemies men also have frienemies .
You deserve way more views. I have referred to this behavior as "social violence."
@Guildofarcanelore thank-you!!! I like that term 'social violence.' It definitely fits the behavior! Thanks too, for your sweet comment! I'm trying to grow my RUclips presence - please share if you can! 😍
I am in a group situation. In the end, in a calm, confident non aggressive way, I simply called out the behaviour and said "we've got to stop being mean to each other"
@maroonpilgrim I am sorry you are experiencing this behavior. Being calm can be hard to do - good for you!! I also totally agree with calling out the behavior. Did it help to do so??
This was so helpful thank you ❤
You are very welcome. I'm happy to hear it was helpful to you!!
❤❤❤🎉🎉😊😊
Building your own support group helps. Not engaging with the “popular girls” also helps. Btw, these are not “lovely girls”.
Having your own support group is huge and so important for your personal well-being.
What’s ironic is that the popular girls are actually super insecure which is why they have to be part of the clique, they can’t validate or think for themselves. They don’t know what to do if a high value woman comes along who is also kind, empathetic and self-confident and can express their own uniqueness freely. Usually they’ll feel threatened by her (“she thinks she’s better than us!”) and bully her out of the social situation. They self select for the most toxic and conforming ones.
Love the advice.
Thank-you!
*promo sm*
I have 9 sisters and a core group of them do exactly this. If we don't all agree with their outlooks on every subject and area of life, we are bullied into changing our rhetoric. If that doesn't work, the next step is small comments to belittle our views. They use the term 'we' if I'm having a disagreement with one of them as a way of making me feel like I'm on my own and I'm the one in the wrong because the masses all agree with her. When none of that works... full on accusations that are fealty hurtful and just plain lies but said with so much conviction they are generally believed or at least not called out by others because they don't want the spotlight to land on them! They will NEVER apologise, NEVER back down and only get more aggressive the more you try and get them to understand your views. It's exhausting and damaging. I can only remove myself from them and hope that the others in my family (9 brothers) see the truth. Counselling has really helped me to see these patterns.
Yes, i know exactly what you are talking about- omg 9 sisters- that us a battle field and I know that you never, ever thought you were at war.
to call them out openly !!!
Yes! I think that is a good strategy! It also can be hard to do.
@@dr.ambertichenorphd correct - but otherwise, the narc believes he/she has a an easy play at your costs. I know it by experience - and then it never ends !!!
But sometimes it doesn’t matter and your still at fault
I walked away. It was the only thing i could do. I went to therapy too because as a highly sensitive person it impacted me much more severely.
Walking away can be so hard, but sometimes it's the best thing you can do, to help yourself. (I've been there). And yes, it can be very impactful and hard. Therapy certain helps. Thanks for sharing!
I went to therapy for 4 whole years and she was essentially a mean girl. Fortunately many years later employee assistance a male- explained to me, covert narcissism, before ot was a buzz word- it was about the father of my children, a very undermining ex. From there I got in touch with a man Don Hennessy who supports women dealing with intimate partner abuse and has written books. The female therapist did a job on dismantling every part of me, including my spiritual part.
I had situations like this through all my life but only a few years ago I learned the term to name this. Honestly atm I think I may be on my way to another situation with relational aggression from a person in my circle and the worst part is that even though I know what it is i still second guess myself and assume it’s nothing until *bam* some comment happens and I freeze not knowing how to react. I think a big struggle, at least for me, is knowing when something is actually an agression and when it is just me reading to much into it :(
I'm sorry you have and are experiencing this again. One thing I always say, listen to your gut, if it feels off, it probably is. Which means, you're also probably not reading too much into it.
That is very helpful. Thank you!
Previously I had referred to this as "emotional violence". Where physical violence is illegal, emotional violence can be as abusive but tolerated, if not accepted in society.
Trust yourself. Your body signals you when something is "off" about another person and how they interact. Write down the date and time of each incident, what was said and done, and how you felt. This way, you will see whether this type of behavior is a pattern for the person, and not have to rely only on your memory. If it is a pattern, then walk away. The person will not even know there is something to fix if you just keep on tolerating mistreatment. And tolerating mistreatment leads to a wide range of losses, including self-respect and self-esteem, health and a zest for life. It drains you.
Thank you- many of us move away from our listening to our gut.
Alot of adult ass children, behave like this. I catch receipts on everything
Love this! I have a gratitude journal and I write in it when I wake up and go to bed and it helps my mind focus on ALL the good in my life! Thank you for sharing! Today, I am grateful for YOU and this message!!
Thank-you, my friend!!! I need to get a gratitude journal too. So invaluable for capturing your thoughts. I am grateful for YOU too!!
describes it very well. decided to speak up about it and now, according to her, its all my fault. ended it, had to. still hard, but we have to decide how we want to be treated.
I'm sorry that the relationship has ended but you said it correctly, we all have to decide how we want to be treated and if it's less than what you want/ give. It's probably in the end, not a healthy one. Good luck to you!
I love this! Well said!
Tank-you, Lesley!!!
Hot Damn! Congrats Amber!!! Thank you for this wonderful book- all women should read it!
ρгό𝔪σŞｍ 🙃
You are one special lady..
Thank you Amber, for saying what I can not. I miss her, so. One day we will see her again.
Beautiful, Amber. I'm so sorry I was out of town for your launch. Free the world from frenemies! YESSS!
I know you were there in spirit, my friend!!! xo ♥
Thanks Amber...I pleased to be able to say to myself that I am surround by real friends even after hearing your speech on 'red flags in female friendships' ... It hasn't always been the case when I was younger.x
I absolutely have experienced most of these things. Work and Friendships.
I'm sorry that you've experienced this behavior. Unfortunately, it is more than common for women. I do however think that we can overcome this (as women)!
Fantastic advice. Thanks Amber :)
Thank-you, Joyce!! 🙂
#ProudPublisher
Yea amber! This is awesome ❤ so great to see your beautiul face and hear your compassionate words.
Thank-YOU, Heather!!! ♥️ I so very much appreciate your kinds words. I am so happy to be back in touch with you!!!
This is pure fire Amber and 100% on point! 'Inner she-bully' 'self-check' 'declutter your mind' yes, yes and yes!
Thank-you, Kim!!! Appreciate your feedback! Let's get rid of the "she-bullies"!!!
LOVE this!!!