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Mommy Answer Lady
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Добавлен 29 май 2019
This channel provides short, weekly, step by step instructional videos for struggling parents, or just those who want to constantly improve their parenting skills! From tantrums and bedtime battles to chores and potty training, you can find answers to your parenting questions in specific and easy to follow content that will set you on a path to stop struggling.
Be sure to subscribe and click notifications to check out the new content posted weekly that will help and encourage you to become the most effective parent you can be!
Be sure to subscribe and click notifications to check out the new content posted weekly that will help and encourage you to become the most effective parent you can be!
GENTLE PARENTING CREATES ORPHANS & BRATS - 7 REASONS WHY!
Gentle Parenting trends have created an entire culture of appeasement and validation for inappropriate behavior and parental emotional abandonment by teaching parents to let their children misbehave and teaching children that every emotion they have is good.
This is a lie and it causes children to become angry and rebellious because they don't understand why they are left holding the responsibility of leadership when that is the role of their parent.
The parent is left with an unruly and out-of-control child who has a destructive idea that they are entitled to the world around them treating them as if every whim is ok and should be explored and acted upon.
This trend has been one of the m...
This is a lie and it causes children to become angry and rebellious because they don't understand why they are left holding the responsibility of leadership when that is the role of their parent.
The parent is left with an unruly and out-of-control child who has a destructive idea that they are entitled to the world around them treating them as if every whim is ok and should be explored and acted upon.
This trend has been one of the m...
Просмотров: 184
Видео
SIBLING'S NEW BABY JEALOUSY - HOW TO OVERCOME IT!
Просмотров 188Месяц назад
Young children often feel emotionally threatened and jealous at the arrival of a new baby sibling. This video will help you think through and navigate a plan to help your young child overcome the jealous feelings that can come and how you can encourage good behavior through the process. LINKS: HOW TO GET ALONE TIME EVEN WITH KIDS! ruclips.net/video/eP21N8gV2dA/видео.html PLAYLIST: HOW TO END TA...
10 RULES for a PEACEFUL HOME WITH KIDS!
Просмотров 1,5 тыс.9 месяцев назад
There are 10 simple rules you can teach your children to help create a peaceful home environment. In this video, the Mommy Answer Lady goes through all ten and gives a quick explanation of each one and why each is an important part of finding balance and calm in a home with young children. VIDEOS & LINKS MENTIONED: FOR FREE 10 RULES DOWNLOAD - VISIT WEBSITE: www.mommyanswerlady.com click on "DO...
How to SET SCREEN TIME RULES for KIDS 2023! 10 Easy Steps!
Просмотров 1,5 тыс.Год назад
Screen time is a reality in the world our kids are growing up in. But too much screen time can be harmful. In this video, the Mommy Answer Lady will explain why screen time can be a problem and 10 easy steps you can take to set reasonable limits for your children. WEBSITE: www.mommyanswerlady.com PRE-SCREENING MEDIA FOR KIDS www.pluggedin.com Want to say Thanks? BUY ME A COFFEE! www.buymeacoffe...
HOMESCHOOL WITHOUT PREP in 10 Easy Steps!
Просмотров 686Год назад
Moms often get overwhelmed because they feel they have to prepare lessons for homeschooling in addition to all the other things they have to do to take care of the home. This is not true! There are lots of things you can do to avoid preparing lessons and still homeschool your children. You don't have to struggle with trying to educate your children at home by trying to do it like a teacher with...
Was I in a CULT or not?
Просмотров 2,4 тыс.Год назад
Was I or Duggar Family in a CULT? (See note below) In June of 2023, a hit piece entitled “Shiny, Happy People” was released on Prime Video supposedly exposing cult like behavior in the Duggar family and the organization called Institute in Basic Life Principles which they have been involved in throughout the raising of their children. Many people have said this is a cult and anyone who attends ...
Tantrums Are NOT OK.
Просмотров 2 тыс.Год назад
Toddler tantrums are one of the things that most inhibit parents from being able to be the most effective parents they can be. This behavior not only causes stress to the parents, but it also is very distressing to the child! Many people say tantrums are “normal”. But, tantrums are not “normal” and should not be accepted or tolerated. Teaching and training a child to get control of their own em...
10 Effective Parenting Principles
Просмотров 761Год назад
There are things that parents need to know and do to be the most effective parents they can be. In this video, Mommy Answer Lady explains 10 things parents should consider and implement to reach that goal! Want to say Thanks? BUY ME A COFFEE! www.buymeacoffee.com/mommyanswerlady HOW TO SET CONSEQUENCES THAT WORK! ruclips.net/video/c_N51jiABNo/видео.html ORDER BOOK: HOW TO TRAIN YOUR CHILD TO BE...
How to Raise Kids People Like!
Просмотров 638Год назад
Many parents love their children, but they don't really like them... and neither do others! There are several things that cause this and things that can be done to help you teach your children to be likeable, think of others and be aware of their role and place in society. In this video, the Mommy Answer Lady talk about several things to consider and what you can do to raise children that you a...
Children Don't Need SELF-ESTEEM!
Просмотров 520Год назад
Parenting "experts" have pushed the idea that children need self-esteem and that we are supposed to constantly tell them how wonderful they are in order to build it up. But, is self-esteem what they need or is it more about feeling good about themselves because they are serving others? The Mommy Answer Lady tells about this in a short and to the point video about why self-esteem for the sake of...
What to Do About Siblings Fighting & Arguing!
Просмотров 886Год назад
Siblings fighting and arguing can be one of the most frustrating things for a parent to deal with. How can you, as a parent, teach children to get along and stop the fighting and arguing among their brothers and sisters? The Mommy Answer Lady explains how to have a conversation that will change the way a child thinks about this issue and what you can do to help them learn to resolve disputes wi...
Should I Stay Home With Baby or Work?
Просмотров 497Год назад
Moms today are pulled and pressured both ways to work or to stay home with their babies. What's best? Where should a woman's priorities lie? There's one answer for those who are able. The Mommy Answer Lady lays it out very clearly and concisely in this short video! Want to say Thanks? BUY ME A COFFEE! www.buymeacoffee.com/mommyanswerlady ORDER BOOK: HOW TO TRAIN YOUR CHILD TO BEHAVE: The Ultima...
SHARING -- How to Teach Your Child to SHARE!
Просмотров 1,2 тыс.Год назад
SHARING How to Teach Your Child to SHARE!
3 Reasons Your DISCIPLINE ISN'T WORKING!
Просмотров 885Год назад
3 Reasons Your DISCIPLINE ISN'T WORKING!
2 REASONS BABY WAKES EARLY & WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!
Просмотров 472Год назад
2 REASONS BABY WAKES EARLY & WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!
10 LIFE-CHANGING TRAD WIFE BENEFITS in 2023! (Almost!)
Просмотров 876Год назад
10 LIFE-CHANGING TRAD WIFE BENEFITS in 2023! (Almost!)
5 Steps to Wean A Child and Why It’s So Difficult!
Просмотров 426Год назад
5 Steps to Wean A Child and Why It’s So Difficult!
How HABITS Form in Young Children! Including TANTRUMS!
Просмотров 1,1 тыс.Год назад
How HABITS Form in Young Children! Including TANTRUMS!
How to REALLY LOVE a TRANSGENDER FAMILY MEMBER!
Просмотров 751Год назад
How to REALLY LOVE a TRANSGENDER FAMILY MEMBER!
Sticker Charts Don't Work in 2023 - Try This Instead!
Просмотров 2,9 тыс.Год назад
Sticker Charts Don't Work in 2023 - Try This Instead!
OUT OF CONTROL TODDLER BASICS! 3 BASIC STEPS
Просмотров 2,6 тыс.Год назад
OUT OF CONTROL TODDLER BASICS! 3 BASIC STEPS
How to REALLY LOVE YOUR CHILD with DISCIPLINE
Просмотров 663Год назад
How to REALLY LOVE YOUR CHILD with DISCIPLINE
How to GET TODDLER TO COME WHEN YOU CALL and OBEY!
Просмотров 1,6 тыс.Год назад
How to GET TODDLER TO COME WHEN YOU CALL and OBEY!
STOP PICKY EATERS with ONE SIMPLE RULE!
Просмотров 923Год назад
STOP PICKY EATERS with ONE SIMPLE RULE!
Get PICKY EATERS to TRY NEW FOODS! 5 Easy Steps!
Просмотров 496Год назад
Get PICKY EATERS to TRY NEW FOODS! 5 Easy Steps!
How to Raise Emotionally Intelligent Children - Teach Your Child to GROW UP!
Просмотров 896Год назад
How to Raise Emotionally Intelligent Children - Teach Your Child to GROW UP!
Improve Baby's Sleep Instantly! ONE SIMPLE CHANGE!
Просмотров 289Год назад
Improve Baby's Sleep Instantly! ONE SIMPLE CHANGE!
Thank you so much for this useful video ❤
You're welcome 😊
The kids in my homeshare would say those words
What words?
@MommyAnswerLady the boys in homeshare would always say the R word for people who have disabilities and helth problems I have cerabl polsy
@@CarlyLamont-d8z I see. Were they taught about what to do instead?
@@MommyAnswerLady probably
Retarted or Retard for people who have disabilities I have cerabl polsy ❤
💯 agreed!! 😇🙏🌾
The trauma of infant day care sets most of those kids for the life of failure on so many levels. Our epidemics of drugs and homelessness is just one symptom of that. Also why most seniors end up in nursing homes in inhumane conditions
Too many people these days don't understand that CONVICTION is a necessity to growth. Great video. I'm so sick of the gentle parenting trend- these kids are jerks!! Love the Sweet Baby plush in the background!! 😅
@@TradwifeyDawn Ahhh…a fellow sweet baby. Nice💕
We thought about sleeping on the pull out couch while our four year old transitions to her bed. She's been sleeping in the bed with us, but we recently moved and are settled in our new home. Because the couch is right outside her door, we're wondering if it will make for an easier transition?
@poeticpuff Not in my opinion. She needs to learn right away to sleep on her own in her own bed with you in yours. She will be fine and your attitude about all this she will pick up on. Be confident and don’t allow her to rule the situation. Take charge and she will follow your lead. See the bedtime battles playlist and follow the plan. Remember every response you give to her behavior becomes an expectation and then a habit. Don’t form a habit in her you don’t want repeated. See the playlist for bedtime battles.
@@MommyAnswerLady Blessings, thank you so much! Understood.
Our daughter is 4 years old. Does the same apply if she's crying for us on the floor or in her bed?
@@poeticpuff See the other videos about bedtime battles on this channel. Your daughter is playing you. Take charge without anger and do not allow her to manipulate you. There’s a whole playlist that will help you.
@@MommyAnswerLady thank you for calling it how it is. Take charge without anger, blessings. Thank you.
Also, with bringing her back to bed, do we tuck her back in bed to make sure she's in the bed? Or just walk her to her room?
@@poeticpuff walk to room. No pleasantries. This should not be rewarding to her in any way.
Blessings, love. What are your thoughts with switching between get back to bed and a spanking? Or is it best to pick and stay with one method?
@@poeticpuff Consistency is the key to effectiveness. If you watched the spanking video and can give an age appropriate spanking that is effective, I’d do that. The other method was really just for parents who are too worried about spanking. I’ll send a link to the spanking video. Here’s the video: ruclips.net/video/qfBCiJOAJR4/видео.htmlsi=9oUbrNCHUwmkevMr
@@MommyAnswerLady your videos are amazing -- you are amazing. Thank you! I am having a hard time envisioning what this process will look like. I feel that I am doing my best to prepare, so we may have success. I am just unsure of how it will play out since our four year old has always shared a bed with us. Even when we get out of the bed, she'll wake up in the middle of the night hysterical, come find us, and one of us has gone back to bed with her for her to go back to sleep. I compare it to being James Bond to get out of the bed with her SMH Now, we have a larger space where she has her own room, so we're ready to make the transition so EVERYONE can get their appropriate sleep and schedule. I do not like to spank, but your video made a lot of sense. Thank you. So to clarify -- if she gets out of her bed, after implementing what we've learned from your previous videos on bedtime, she has an appropriate spanking is lead back to her room, we crack the door and walk out? Knowing her she may come right behind swing the door open in a tantrum and either cry in the floor of her room or the floor of wherever we are. Tips for her possible outbursts after receiving a spanking? Also, are we silent during this time or telling her it's time for bed? Thank you so much for all of your videos and quick responses! We're hoping to begin soon. We're putting her bed together this week (she already helped me pick out her room decor and bedding, I am SO thankful she enjoys spending time in her room), along with making her visual bedtime routine schedule this week, and her light up bear is coming tomorrow, and we ordered her favorite songs on audio recording for her in bed on time reward.
@@poeticpuff I want to make sure that you understand that your actions have caused her to have the responses she is having. I’m not saying that to make you feel bad but it’s important. You understand that concept. When she gets up in the middle of the night and comes to you, then you go and get in her bed with her so she will fall back to sleep, what do you expect to happen the next night? This is an exact example of what I mean when I say every response you give to a child’s behavior becomes an expectation and then a habit. You have set up an expectation that if she gets up in the middle of the night and comes to you one of you will go back to bed with her. This was an expectation because your response to her doing it. The first time was that response. She liked that response. So now she does it every night and expects the same thing to happen. It has become a habit. This is why you should never respond in a way that you do not want to become a habit. She is getting a reward for getting up in the middle of the night and coming to you. So that is what she will keep doing. The only way to break this habit is to change your response to something that she does not enjoy. Something she will get no reward for doing. So if you response is to say, we already told you to stay in bed. Ask her the four questions that are on one of the videos in the bedtime battles. If her answer to all of them is no, which, of course it will be, then you tell her she will have to have a spanking. This will mean that every time she gets up, she will expect to be asked those four questions and then get a spanking. This is not going to be something She will want to repeat over and over again if you are consistent. But she will test it. The first time you change that plan and do something different, (like give in) you will set yourself back to the beginning of doing it until she breaks the habit. In other words, it will erase all that you have already accomplished. Consistency is a key to effectiveness. Like it says in the video, if you don’t want to do a spanking, then the walking her back to bed with no response and no talking, putting her back in bed and saying go to sleep and walking back to your bed is the only other thing that will work if it is consistent. It will take a lot longer to work. Regarding the crying and screaming, and throwing a tantrum, see the tantrums videos. You will want to do the CTM method if she does that. And remember, never never never do any of this in anger. Calm, kind, loving and consistent. Do not show any hint of , being afraid of what you are doing being right, having low confidence, etc. You must be very confident, straightforward, and emotional, and robotic and your response when she does these things. This is not to be mean in anyway. It is just show that you mean business and she will get no reward whatsoever for that kind of behavior. When the rewards are no longer, the behavior will go away. Remember, it’s important to have a conversation with her before you start any of this so she understands the plan. She knows what she is supposed to do. She knows your expectations. Also remember to watch the video that tells the things you need to talk with her about including what to do if she’s afraid at night. She needs to have her stuffed toy that she can hug and she can pray. But she is not to get up and wake you up at this point. Once this is established, and she is sleeping in her bed consistently night after night without getting up and coming to wake you, then a rare occasion when she might have a nightmare or something will be different. Then it’s OK to talk with her about her fear and etc., but not right now. She needs to get past this bad habit. I hope this helps. Please let me know how it’s going!
It’s a disgrace how the US government takes care of their small children. I’m glad we live in Germany.
The government doesn’t have small children. The government does not have any children. Parents have children. Parents are to take care of their children. The government is not a parent nor should they be.
I am also thankful I found your series. We have a four year old that sleeps in our bed and even when we get up (various hours of the night) she gets up too. She cries and runs for us and we end up having to go back in the room with her. As you may imagine, it is very difficult to begin work at by 4 AM when the spiritual umbilical cord seems so strong that she can sense when we've left the bed. Our time as partners get cut short and naturally she does not get enough sleep -- all to say we are approaching a change. Especially now that she has her own room. We are binge watching your videos because we know that once we start we need to stick to it, so trying to do our best to start with as much tools, knowledge, wisdom as possible. Blessings. Thank you for your videos! Yah's will we will begin this week.
@@poeticpuff You can do this! 👍🏻
As a millennial mom to a toddler and newborn, it can be hard to find solid, practical parenting advice online. Thank you so much for your pragmatic content.
Glad it was helpful! Thank you for the kind words.
Also they may just want a good snack and a cartoon They are toddlers.... Food Snleepy or feeling bad Think of your grown self
@@person-ey2ct I’m not sure of your point. Please explain.
Thank you for the video ❤❤❤
The CHILD'S SECTIONAL HEALTHY FOOD PLATE/BOWL - ROUND with BOOK. link doesn't work... Do u have a newer one?
I just tried the link and it worked ok for me. ?
I will be shocked if it works. We have the pickiest eater on earth...its getting to be upsetting
@@smolderingartemis you can do this. But you must take charge and claim your role. 😊👍🏻.
I need more info for this recording... I don't know what to do. Is it for after book? Or instead of? When you play it are you there with the child? Or are they listening alone? Sorry, just need more details
@@smolderingartemis It’s for when they get in bed and you leave the room. Watch the video again. You can also get my book which explains it. 😊
Our 3.5 year was sleep trained and was doing great up until a few months ago when I had surgery. There was about a week where I wasn't home. Since then, he calls for me "Momma help" after putting him to bed. We've had a routine since birth, that we've tweaked as he ages. It doesn't work anymore. He calls for me for an hour. I have tried all kinds of things. Not sure what to do anymore. When he finally does go to sleep he wakes up through night asking for help with his blanket. He kicks it off. What can I do??
@@smolderingartemis the answer lies on your response to his behavior. You have set up expectations and he is only doing what he needs to do for you to fulfill the expectations you have trained him to do. As long as you respond as he wishes, it will continue. Stop responding that way and he will stop acting that way. The first time you responded by going back into his room and “helping” with his blanket, you set the precedent. Them, you continue to solidify the habit and formed the expectation. Now you expect him to tell for you and ye expects you to come in and respond. Habit formed. He is 3. He understands language. Tell him this will not happen anymore. He is not to tell for you. See this video : ruclips.net/video/MJEfyt-7kHk/видео.htmlsi=HO9n4XmXrJGU6fNc
Not only does the child feel frustrated with that style of parenting, it leaves the parents frustrated too! I got caught up with all the voices telling me how to be a gentle parent, but I became more and more frustrated with my children. What happened was that I ended up bearing the consequences for my child’s behavior rather than the child rightfully bearing them. I was carrying frustration for those consequences when the frustration of consequences rightfully belonged to the child. My children are much more secure when they realize that all their actions/choices whether good or bad yield some type of consequence. I see many people these days, being extremely socially unaware because they have never had to carry the consequences of their actions
Well said!
Being emotionally available for my kids instead of emotionally and physically abusing them creates children who feel safe and secure and come to me about anything 🤷♀️
@@IntotheFray84 I totally agree. The difference is I understand about what emotions are, when they are appropriate and when they are misplaced, and how to deal with that. I assume by your comment, you don’t. I’m assuming you didn’t watch this whole video. Please do so before making comments.
Such great advice for everyone but especially for those who were raised either by Non-Christian parents or Christian parents who didn't have proper role models themselves and who had no clue as to proper child rearing.
@@IntotheFray84 That’s very true depending on the definitions of the operative words used. What is the definition of “emotionally available”? If it means being a punching bag for tantruming children, I disagree. If you mean willing to talk about a child’s feelings and behaviors with them- while helping them to trust their parents’ love and wisdom by being benevolent and strong- I agree with that statement. The same analysis must be used with the terms “physical abuse” and “emotional abuse.” Many people assume that anything that creates any physical or emotional discomfort is “abusive”. I disagree with that premise. Nature constantly uses physical discomfort to teach children, and their brains are wired to learn that way without being traumatized. Children’s brains often can’t understand high level logic (especially when they are raging) but their brains can quickly learn through physical means. For instance, a parent can lecture a toddler about how to walk safely and correctly but the most effective way a child learns to walk is to get a bump when they fall. Kids learn to balance and have good judgement by the natural effects of gravity. No words, lectures, yelling needed. This is neither emotional nor physically abusive. Indeed, the emotional and physical abuse of children occurs when they have not been properly taught to control themselves. Then they are rejected by teachers, peers, other adults over a lifetime. To forego teaching and training children from a young age that they have free will and can choose to control impulses is, in my opinion, the very definition of emotional and physical abuse.
@@MommyAnswerLady you know what they say about “assuming” 😆 ✌️
@@IntotheFray84 Well…I suppose my experience with people who use phrases like “being emotionally available” and using the words “physical abuse” in the same sentence has not served me well in this case-I’m happy to say! Nicely said. 😊 I don’t know if you have watched my other videos, but one of the main things I teach is giving the child complete attention and focus at least twice a day to allow them to talk about anything and just listen.
I agree, this is why children are more disobedient and entitled now. When I grew up, we wouldn’t think of doing some of the stuff they get away with now!
Thanks so much!
You're welcome!
Every time I see college students rioting, I wonder if they got their way when tantruming as a child. I love this opinion on shame-- shame is an incredible behavioral motivator to socialize children. Tribes have done this for thousands of years. Not only that, but shame doesn’t require a new law, a government bureaucracy and lawsuits to enforce. Shame is an elegantly simple solution. One does not need to be traumatized by some feelings of shame. Shame can prevent the traumatizing of the rest of the family, schoolmates and spouse.
Well said. Unfortunately the left demonizes any feelings that are uncomfortable. Therefore, shame is categorized as always bad. Like all feelings, they can be good if applied appropriately and bad if applied inappropriately. The key is to understand the difference.
Havind read "The whole-brain child" by Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne and also currently reading "No drama discipline" based on neuroscience and child brain development, I just feel that the method given in this video lefts out the emotional validation part, where you really get to connect with the child and help them recognize and deal with their feelings. I'm not saying that this method is completely ineffective, but it could add the emotional validation part as this makes a huge different.
I suggest you see the other videos on this channel. Emotions are thoroughly covered and is in my book as well. But, today, the "neuroscience" and "child brain development" crowd goes too far in validating inappropriate emotions and uses pseudo science that comes to erroneous conclusions which end up harming the child in the end. Yes, there is such a thing as inappropriate emotions. We all have them. In fact, today I am posting a video about the problems with Gentle Parenting. You might want to take a look.
how to say to children that they're action has ripple effect to the teacher and other without sounds 'guilt tripping'? any advice?
@@shafiraandini9171 A child should not feel guilt if they didn’t know something. Once they do know, if they continue to do it, there isn’t anything wrong with feeling guilt. It is totally ok to talk to the child and let them know that their behavior is hurting someone. If it is, they need to know that. The key is to help them understand that they can change and don’t have to hurt others. And that this is what they should do. Tell the child that their behavior hurts the person they hit, but it also hurts all the other people who see the pain and who have to deal with it. Their age will determine how much of this they will understand.
Sometimes it's just not possible for a relative to watch them .these days it's just not possible for anyone to live on one income. I have worked in childcare for 34 years and I look at as an adventure for teaching.
@@kristink5884 Well that just isn’t true. Lots of families live on one income. Lots. It’s a matter of choices and priorities. Thank you for your comment.
It was always difficult to be on one income...it's all about choices and priorities.
Why is respect the only thing mothers seem to care about? This theory seems supported by other mothers' comments in this section. Why is it that even when we are respectful, they are not, and continue to yell? They are clearly in the wrong, or even when I'm not at fault and admit guilt as a desperate attempt to make them stop. They come from a troubled background and have been in counseling for years, yet I've seen no change. Every time I try to address them respectfully, they don't listen or accuse me of being disrespectful. Yelling triggers me because of my physically and mentally abusive father, whom I received counseling for and which i no longer see . I have no siblings at home, so I'm essentially alone. Why does she take my phone to find faults, and when she finds none, I'm reprimanded for something arbitrary? I perceive this as distrust. Thank you for reading my comment, and as a teenager, I've often pondered these questions.
I am so glad you wrote me. I am sorry you are struggling with this. You seem very mature to be willing to write and ask about this. I'm going to come at this from her position first. There are many parents who try very hard to do the right thing and just aren't sure how to remedy problems. This causes frustration and anger which in turn produces yelling. Unless they know what to do about that, it continues. I suspect your mother doesn't know what to do about it. She has a lot of pressure on her to be a mom without a father in the home. That is very difficult for her and it sounds like she has other problems besides this responsibility. If she is checking your phone, she loves you. That is a very good thing, though it may seem annoying to you. She would not do that unless she cares deeply about what is going on in your life and wants to make sure nothing is happening that would cause you to be harmed. That includes doing things that are behind her back. She feels a real need to control the situation in order to keep you safe and on the right path. And remember, she has no support from a father in this case and a background of her own pain. And if she also perceives that you are not showing respect to her, she feels further from the ability to influence and guide you AND she feels unappreciated for all she does for you. It's like she sees herself as giving and sacrificing for you daily and is getting "slapped in the face" so to speak. This adds to her frustration and anger which causes even more yelling. So, first thing is, please understand her position. If you can look at it from her perspective, maybe you can set aside her behavior and understand it. Now from your perspective. I obviously don't know you at all, but I suspect you love your mom but do not like being around her a lot of the time because you feel she is controlling and unable to discuss things without losing her temper. You feel as though you are just trying to make it through each day uncertain of what will happen in your future. You want a relationship of respect and trust with your mom but don't feel it is possible because of her behavior toward you. When she yells, you feel helpless, angry and alone with no one to turn to who can understand that you just want some peace. I'm going to tell you two things that may shock you. Then I'll explain. 1. Your mother should not trust you. 2. Your mother does not need to "earn" respect. I know both those things sound crazy. But let me explain. A parent is very foolish if they "trust" their teen. What I mean by that is when a person is in their teens, they are constantly bombarded with temptations that could completely derail their life. This includes drugs, harmful fads, sex, and even relationships with friends that lead them to do destructive things that could land them in jail or worse. Your brain is not fully developed until you are in your mid 20s. That is why many teens make foolish mistakes when not guided by a loving parent. A wise parent will not completely trust their teen to make wise decisions because that is the nature of the teen brain. That does not mean a teen cannot be smart, intelligent and even have a lot of wisdom! They can and maybe you do! But it is the very nature of a teen to be heavily influenced by their peers and easily manipulated by pressure around them. It is also common for teens to take risks that are unnecessary and foolish not because they are stupid. But because they lack life experience yet have a lot of new found freedom since they are now able to drive and go out without a parent. So a wise parent will check on what their teen is doing, who their friends are, what activities they are engaging in, and certainly will make sure their social media and text life is within safe boundaries. My children didn't even get a phone of their own until they could drive. If I were a parent today, my teen wouldn't have social media at all until they were adults! The fact that your mother is checking your phone means she is trying. She loves you. Your mother does not need to earn respect. She SHOULD!! She should want to deserve it by her own actions. True! But, there are people who may not deserve respect because of their behavior, but the fact that they are in a certain position means they should get a certain level of it anyway. She is your mother. Because she is in that position in your life, she should receive a level of respect from you. She has given you life, she provides for you, and she obviously tries to fulfill her responsibility. She loves you. Just like you should respect a police officer just because he is in the position he is, or a teacher just because they are your teacher, or the president of the USA just because he is in the position of president... there is a level of respect we should give because of the office they hold. Not necessarily because of them personally. If you give your mother the respect she should have AS YOUR MOTHER, it will help. Spouting off flippant comments is not acceptable and will only serve to enhance the problems you are having now. But I will give you a little advice and hope you will try it. Next time your mom checks your phone, yells or and finds something arbitrary to complain about and starts to yell or even just argue, say, "I didn't realize that. Thank you for pointing that out. I will think about it and I appreciate that you care enough to help me do better." Remember a gentle answer turns away wrath. (Proverbs) At first, your mom will probably look at you with a gaped mouth and wide eyes wondering if you are on drugs or something. She may not react well at first. She may continue to complain and etc. But she will see something different in you and be curious. Suffer through the first attempt at this new approach. Then, do it again the next time. And again. With three attempts at this, you should start to see a change in your mom's behavior and probably she will ask you what's up. Tell her you have decided that you are going to change your approach to her and give her the respect she deserves because you love her. Do this for you. Not for her necessarily because she may not respond as you want her to --- but it won't be worse than what's been happening now, right? But, if you do this for you, it will grow your own character, and you will have a new confidence in yourself because you will do the right thing regardless of what others around you are doing. It can only cause positive things when you do the right thing. Tell me how it goes!
LOL nothing in this video works. No toddler gonna care anything about what this said to do.
Well that's amazing! I suppose my nine children are the exception. And... all the other parents who have done this and it's worked. We must be the outliers. 😂
Granny nanny here. Parents need to be grateful for help not just expect it.
I totally agree. As a grandmother, it is not necessarily our job to do daycare for our grandchildren. But, if you do, you deserve all the praise and gratitude that should come with it. It is the parents' job to raise their children and the grandparents are supposed to be there to support and help when they can. But they are not obligated to raise their grandchild if the parents are capable to do so. And not because the parents are selfish and want a bigger house or fancier car. The best place for a child to be is in the daily care and nurture of their own loving parents.
With me my son does not hit, bite or be harsh. I already have done all these steps even before the video. He will apologize if he accidentally hits me even if i don't ask for an apology. At daycare he is well behaved even if another kid hurts him. At school though it seems everyday they have something to say about him and I can't help but wonder if he's following what another kid is doing and the school just thinks it's my kid. Or the other kid provoked him and he acted out. If it truly is my son why is he well behaved with me and daycare but at school he's not?
There are several pieces of information that I do not have to give a reasonable answer. How old is your son? How long has he been in daycare? Is it full time daycare? What has he said in response to you asking him about this behavior? What has the teacher said? Have there been any big changes in his life lately? So many things that are unknown. It might be better if you email me and we can try to figure out what might be going on. holly@mommyanswerlady.com
Yes
i have a 2 year old and i rly dont want to send her,but i wouldnt only socialize so she would play with other kids bc i am affraid she would get shy if she didnt socialize with kids her own age,she does play with random kids on play grounds,so im happy about it. My question is does it mentaly impact a child if it doesnt socialize from early age with the kids of same age? And if not are they going to be able to make connectionnin school if they never go to kindergarden? And when and if should we put them in kindergarden? ty.
@@pikabamboo4175 Thank you for asking. Socializing is completely available in many ways. Having siblings, cousins, doing play dates with other moms, playground time, and going to church. All these are totally valid ways to allow your child to socialize at an early age. Daycare is not necessary and certainly not full time daycare which is what this video is about. I’m all for homeschooling or private Christian school. I do not recommend public school anymore at this point. Starting them in private kindergarten would be reasonable at 5-6 years old but better late than too early. Lots of learning can be easily done at home before that with play and activities that include colors, letters, letter sounds, numbers and etc.
Great info. Now, what to do if partner throws a tantrum 😂
I wish my mom tried some of these to help me, instead she used it as a punishment, she would lock me in my room with the lights off (i was like 3 and didnt know how a light switch worked, and was short enough that it was hard to reach), i would scream, no answer. And since a fear of the dark can be from not wanting to be away from your parent(s), that really didnt help, now i still have a big fear of the dark bc it reminds me of 3yr old me crying sm i couldent see, banging on the door and screaming, i wasnt even a bad kid!
@@Shadow_buddy._. I’m sorry you had to go through that.
this is child abuse and absolutely insane
@@TheSchreckse I guess you didn’t watch the video. I suggest you do that before commenting. 👍🏻
dont say it
My son keeps waking up at 12am and he struggles to self soothe. It’s been 3-4 months of this now and it’s so hard. I’ve tried to be consistent with taking him back to his room but he screams the house down and now the neighbours have complained.
@@genevieveama8729 the answer lies in what you have done in response to this behavior. What would that be?
What age do you think is appropriate to start chores?
@@genevieveama8729 as soon as they can walk they can start helping! 😊
Thank you 🙏🏾
I love your method
@@BerryZain Thank you! Has it been helpful for you?
I have a fear of this to i cant sleep even with night light and a phone cause i feel like something is watching me at the corner or something behind me or watching me and crawling towards me
@@CesarZavala-bj8jj How old are you?
My 10 month baby shouts louder and louder shalli start this from now or after 1 year
@@Usernamehg NOW!
Daycare is a lie. Problem is... A growing majority of modern women are ENDLESSLY attached to everything else but children, marriage, or family.
Agreed.
True
Can you do a video on stopping child from touch other people children please and thanks
@@Anh48927 I’ll work on that. 😊
I work in a daycare and we treat them like our own. I don’t understand how some people who work in daycare, neglect the children if you don’t really care for kids, don’t work in a childcare environment.
@@user-wd3po8sd7k This video isn’t directed at childcare workers. It’s directed at parents. Parents should stay home with their little ones as much as possible and find relatives if at all possible if they have to work because of being a single parent. That’s the point. No matter how loving you might be, you still aren’t their parent and there are lots of other childcare workers who aren’t loving. Thats just a fact. What is best: Parents raise their own children. Moms stay home and raise them. That’s best.
I worked in daycare too and while it's true that we all loved the children dearly, it is physically impossible to give 4-8 babies the level of care and attention they needed. Read Being There by Erica Komisar. Daycare harms children's Brian's permanently, even the best teachers could never do enough, it's just not possible.
@@househannah333 I get how it’s hard with four or five babies and toddlers. I think one adult for every two babies or toddlers should be the rule. We only have two toddlers, about a year and a half old at our daycare, and just those two alone require constant attention.
Yes
I loved it when my kids threw things
@@damonstewart70 In what context?
This comment section is so silly. This isn't abuse - it's sensible.
But what if my son doesn't get motivated by a clean room? He's totally fine with it being messy
@@SamsFoodChronicles Watch this. ruclips.net/video/FvsNiy0tkFQ/видео.htmlsi=U_IEQlX7nSwuVeHK