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i was never abused, so this playlist probably doesn't hit me in the same way as y'all. but i do listen to this when i'm just tired. when i'm over everything, my mind has had enough, and i can't keep going, this video keeps me grounded. it rips my emotions out and lets them fester, but it feels cathartic at the same time. thank you for this.

The best way to think better back on those bad memories of younger you doing something like sh is to find something from that age like i got a notebook from age 9 AND REALLY EARLY 10 and not flipping through it I take care of it like I wanted to be taken care of while I stay up late i tuck it in and have it sleep for mental health i hug it let it hug my emotional support cinnamon roll plushie i say your loved our worth something take care of something from that age then look back on the memory don't truly interfere with it but you can imagine yourself just helping them and not just nobody helping.. taking care of my past self with the care i truly needed has helped me I hope my advice will help you. :)

I’m ten at the moment my grandmother (TW sa&sh) SA me till I was nine we moved out of the house me and my father mother sister and grandmother lived in I blocked my grandmother as soon as we moved away from her a week ago my parents figures out what she did to me my father sobbed and my mother had to go in a different room those two words I spoke were scary and freeing I have trauma from what she did to me I didn’t know what she was doing till I was nine no one knew I kept it to myself a cvt myself to deal with the pain my parents still don’t know about how I cvt myself I I’m clean now for 2 months and I have been healing im soon getting a therapist and going to court with my grandmother I don’t know how long till my life can be “normal” again I wanted to share my story to share that things can and will get better I believe in you soldiers keep fighting <3

6:10 This picture made me cry😭

i was in an abusive household, my mom had depression, anger issues and bpd . she would hit me everyday and one da she threw a chair at my dad, he was bleeding from his head everywhere and i was so scared, i was only 8 and my sister was 10, we were both crying n police got involved, my mom never went to jail but she went of medication and law told us we had to move away with our dad. ill never forget the terrified look on his face when he realized we saw him with blood all over his face.

28:16 Same little lamb :(

8:20 I think like this all the time :3

A child crying out in there sleep Wait for me. Don’t leave me here. Who will never remember this. Who will never remember this.

Not the fleeting bruises you'd cover with make-up, a dark patch like the imprint of a scope she'd pressed your eye too close to, looking for a way out, nor the quiver.

You didn't deserve any of it, kid. I'm sorry they ever made you feel like they did. I really, really wish you luck in feeling good one day. You only deserve the best and happiest. I don't know you, but if I did I know I would be proud of you for making it this far. You've just got to keep hoping that things will get better. Sending my love and well-wishes to you ❤

-I’m so so so -*-SO-*- sorry for you all…-

Im gonna tell you guys, which *pictures* I relate too :D 0:01 (I mean 50/100, I guess) 1:51 6:32 8:06 (I don't really relate to this, I just wanted to say... why is da lamb in this so cute???) 14:25 21:50 (only the pink text)

The time I lived with my dad and his ex girlfriend Cassie. My life was severely traumatized as Cassie would abuse me, hit me, force me to do things I was uncomfortable doing, even forcing me to take my clothes off for her, thankfully my dad broke up with her.. then got back with her 2 years later and she said “You grew up! Don’t worry I’ve changed” and I believed that. I was so stupid because I trusted her again and she full on sexually assaulted me and that wasn’t the end of it. I was fucking 7 when this happened! I hate her so much! If anyone in the world could die, I’d choose her…. But that’s not the end either, she abused me and my brother severely. We were traumatized so bad we needed therapy to recover from it. Thankfully I moved out away from the area I was born and raised in (the place I call trauma land) and is now happily living alone.

i was just a kid.

i hate them so much, i cant tell whats good or bad anymore Around when i was at least grade 1, i had a pet bunny, i got her in a mall i think and we went to sleep when we got home, but when i woke up, shes not in her cage, my parents said my uncle ate her, i cried but guess what? They just laughed, not caring about me at all, i soon found out my parents lied and they just found my bunny deas in her cage early in the morning, so before i woke up, they threw away the body of my bunny and made up that lie, so they like laughing at my pain? And why did my bunny leave me so early? I just got her... Why did you leave me? I was probably around 5-6 years old(?), i was a smart kid, but i failed a test and my mom got mad that she threw my bag at my head, the bag was heavy so it injured my head, leaving a bump, i cried but she didn't even comfort me in the car, she said sorry until we got home, she doesn't remember anymore, but i still do... I was going through puberty and as my chest area started developing, my mom told me to always wear a bra or else i would become a victim, i didn't have a bra this time so we went to my uncle's house without one, apparently we also brought my dog, who was barking at everyone (she was a stray when we got her, so she doesn't like strangers), when we got back, my mom yelled at my dog, i tried protecting her, but my mom was also mad at me, knowing i didn't had a bra on, she was saying something like "are you trying to be r4p3d?!" Another thing, i was 9 years old when this happened, we were at a mall and i needed to go to the bathroom, i was wearing a short skirt too, when i was going to the restroom, i saw a man staring at me, i got uncomfortable that i ran to the restroom, by the time i was done, he was gone, this is why i hate short skirts now and the reason why i hate dresses I was 12 when this happened, it was one day before Christmas break ended and then going to school, 2 months before my birthday as well, i was charging those automatic refill station things, when the water leaked out and broke the vacuum, my mom was mad at me and tried to take away my phone, but i refused so she used force instead, hitting me with a broom and almost scratching me on the neck, my dad tried to comfort me but i was crying so much it annoyed him too, so he beated me up with a slipper, i felt bruised and i was crying, i dont understand how i didnt get any physical injuries during this, no marks, no nothing, my skin was fine, like nothing even happened, my parents didnt try to comfort, instead just making me feel worse (mainly my mom), she said that im not a miracle and said something along the lines of "you're like a robot, you follow peoples orders, but you're broken" she's right, i act like a robot, i dont do shit until others tell me to, but i might mess it up and end up doing the wrong thing, i bet she loves the vacuum more than me because the vacuum had a good price but i was for free I was mostly alone in my childhood, around 3-4 years old i could take care of myself, my parents were always busy with work so i never had company with anyone else other than myself My parents used to call me a "drama queen" because of how i acted, nowadays i feel like i cant tell them anything in fear of being called that again or mainly even worrying them It was around 12 years old when i started to derealize things and started to have a mental breakdown once I dont remember how old i was, but i was sick at this time, i think my sister woke up and cried, i didn't do anything, but they hit me so bad, i didn't tell them i was sick, i forgot to do that, i cried and i sang a song about God to myself to sleep in bed that they, i wish i remember the lyrics today I feel like theres more, but its so hard to remember anything, i want to remember, but i cant, its like my brain is corrupted and cant find any of my missing memories anymore We recently went to the pool with my 3 year old sister, my moms friend came along with her daughter as well, when we were eating, my parents talked to each other, but it was quiet in the pool and my sister would normally make sounds and be annoying, it was quiet... *Too quiet...* I almost lost her that day Im currently 13 now, im not sure what the future holds for me, but i hope its something good because everyday feels old and reused, nothing feels new, nothing feels real, i dont feel real, i wish everything is a bad dream and i would wake up soon, but its not, one day things wil change. One day

Idk what abuse is…I see so many people saying they hit thier child for discipline all over the internet for other adults to relate to. My did it to me twice I think. But I see those videos so much I think it’s normal to hurt your child to the point where I don’t know what abuse is. Sure my mom has called me bad words and sure she’s pulled me to the ground by my hair and yes she’s slammed my head on a banister out of anger for me crying to much but…I can’t figure out if what she did was right…I think I’m the problem.

I a a neurodiverse person, so i dont really get aceepted easily in school, but i dont like im sacrificing even everything i have for him just to manipulate me

I have a lamb plush, hes my pride and joy. I sleep with him every night. His name is tom, tom has and will be with me through everything, he was with me when i was used and manipulated, when i have meltdowns and when i feel completely helpless. Hes my childhood in a plush, drity and forgotten till you need it then you run right back to the innocence

I never feel safe in my house unless the door to my room is closed and that's because of him. The man I'm supposed to call my 'father'. it's always like walking on hot coles around him one wrong move, and he'll lose it. He says he is parenting, but he lets a screen or his cash do the work for him. He's has made me in the past feel as if I don't deserve anything, not even my life. And when he found out he didn't say that he loved me he just look at me with a scowl on his face and put me in a ward for a week. my therapist became my family they became more than he ever did, I know their's no confronting him and I can't win in an argument because I'm afraid of what he will do, so I let him hear what he wants me to say. He gaslights me, or now attempts to, for years I bleaved him I thought It was everyone else's fluit so I blamed them. when I went into middle school that changed and I saw through his act. I don't even want to think of him as my blood. He's my captor until I'm 18. And I hate him.

On 3:32 the words "daddy please dont make me take my clothes off" makes me sad.

I was only six years old. He was about thirteen. He should’ve known better, right? It wasn’t a game, and I know that now.

I remember I used to have a tiger plush, I got him from the Zoo with my grandparents, i dont remember where I lost him- but i do remember my parents liked to take things like him away from me when I was disobeying. Last i saw him was around 13 years ago now, I have never seen him since. We moved country around my 10th birthday and ive thought about him alot ever since, as dumb as it sounds I feel like I left part of myself back there. I cried so many tears into him, used him as a pillow. Look after your plushies, you never know how much they’ll mean to you until you loose them- even as an adult.

My brothers bf played this for him my brother cried the entire night apparently while his bf held him. My brother was sexually and physically abused by our mom and her boyfriend. And another bf of his just for being a feminine shaped boy no he’s not trans. I’m so happy for you JJ you have helped him so much you are so caring and loving with my brother you hold him and let him cry. He has never gotten that before.

i've been going through a very very bad depressive episode, this playlist is comforting to me the more i reflect the worse i get. i mean, i knew in theory it wasnt normal to be so terrified all the time, but like,, i guess i didnt fully realize how i was being treated? and i still havent really escaped it even though im an adult now and dont talk to certain people. i only have my sister and my online friends for comfort at the moment, and i dont even know how to talk about the harder things with them. half of the time i dont even think im worth that sort of effort. and even worse, i feel the need to put myself on a pedestal in front of others - it's the sort of mindset of 'i'll love myself when no one else will' but, like, bad, and just makes me feel very selfish and vain, and also prevents me from talking through my problems or lets me have rest for a second. maybe that's why im so burnt out all the time? or it could be the pressure from childhood catching up to me. it's also a contradictory cycle of loving myself and how attractive and fantastic i am and then hating myself for even daring to think of that and it sucks. i dont want to live anymore. it feels like i'll never be happy. when i try to talk about it with my mom she just gives me some bullshit fake-positive advice about "yOu HaVe To ChOoSe To Be HaPpY" yeah well if i can choose that i can also choose to be 6 ft under. and i'll laugh at you from hell and i'll laugh at everyone i hate because i know that it's their fault for such a tragedy. "she died at such a young age," they'll say, not even acknowledging how much i hated being a girl or how they treated me. god i wish i could scream my lungs out at her in the same way she did to me. i want her to be afraid of me. but that's wrong and i dont even talk to her anymore so it's whatever i guess aoouhhgg this got out of hand ':] i am ending this vent-rant here 👍 idk everyone else is venting i thought it'd be good for me if i did too. whatever 👍👍👍👍

As a girl who never been s/a'd, i feel bad, tbh i have been bullied online and i been abused by getting hit in the belt but not anymore i been safe but i cant grow up bc my parents they dont care abt my privacy

I was .. well, coerced into sexual acts by two older kids. One was a family member who forced me into sexual acts when i was very young ... It kept going until me and my dad got away from that part of the family... Another older kid did the same but once. He told me to go into his stall in the restroom and again i didnt understand it. He pressured me. I went through my emtire life questioning why i was never into sex much but i kept thinking of my childhood. I realized it was because of trauma trapped deep inside..

Ok but the lamb plush looks so cute tho- 😭

Atleast the baby lamby is the only peace of comfort

I was only 9... :(

Why does my mom hate me…I always ask myself this everyday…I hate it when she screams at me…why does she blame me for everything…why does she threaten me…she makes me insecure about myself and suicidal…..

i think this year is my final year

"Just smile, you will feel better" "just let the past go" "why do you have to look unhappy" "why can't you just be faster" i am tired of hearing my coworkers and boss say such things. My parents ans the other kids in the shool gave me gifts They're called PTSD and Depression. I wish i could feel normal again. I often find myself trying to trigger my own PTSD because 1. I want to feel sometjing and 2. I don't trust myself that i actually have it. It's diagnosed, and i do have it, yet i still feel guilt. Feel like i imagined everything. Feel like it is all my mistake. Feel like i am the one who wronged others. I didn't realize my parents weren't normal because i couldn't conpare them to other parents. I only realized it after people looked shocked, when i replied to their questions "where do you habe that injury from" "why do you have internal bleeding behind your ears" luckily the doctor noticed it and called child protection services. It started when i was 10. I work in an apprentieceship since 15 and earn money. Yet, it only got discovered when i was 17

Stay strong soldiers❤

To everyone here who suffered and went/is going through pain your strong stay strong I’m here for you your not alone❤

"You'll always everyone's favorite puppet, let them express, let them stomp on you, let them hurt you, let them touch you, until you rip apart, you'll be useless. You are just a puppet. Now, smile."

I've had too much trauma, time to vent.. |STORYTIME| So, once upon a time there was a young girl born, let's call her..T. T was a normal little girl, she had a dad let's call him J, and a terrible mom, We will call her B. J sold drugs/did drugs, And J did the same. Growing up in a household like that, T didn't get a very good childhood, J and B split up when T was around 10+. She would normally live with B but sometimes go to J's house. J married someone who was really nice. B made T start doing stuff, for money. pr0st3tut!on.. T started drugs and similar things when she was 11. Imagine being 11 and doing that stuff.. Well T gets pregnant at 13 with a baby boy, Boy number 1, then another boy..and another boy..Then she started getting worse when she had my sister (She dies at birth because she had drug infections from T) And so T gets put in jail for stealing,drugs,etc. Where she was surprisingly pregnant with me, I was born in a prison cell you heard right. The amount of court trips I went through are endless. So then I go up for adoption.. And A person nsmed ..C comes and wants a baby. Backstory of C: She was the sister of J's new wife, she always wanted a baby but couldn't have one with her husband, so they did foster care. Well her husband passed away 4 years before I was born, when she got the opportunity to adopt me? She felt like she won the lottery. Back to story: she went through so many court trips and MONEY to adopt. I was the first girl that T ever had that survived so..who knows what hell I would've gone through. 5years later I was legally adopted, still dealing with other court trips due to private information I'm not ready to share. My life has been a rollercoaster

Hey yall, just wanna let you know that: everything will be okay. Things will get better, you are loved. Don’t give up, you can do this. If you’ve self-harmed in the past, or just a few minutes ago.. that’s fine! We all have difficulty’s. I’m still proud of you for getting through this. I love you, have a wonderful day <3

This text on video and comments make me breathless and I want to cry :(

What worrieds me the most is that I have known most of these traumas

I did all I could. WHAT DO YOU FUCKING WANT FROM ME?!

nil I have a stuffed sheep or lamb that I got when I was like 2??? still have him to this day and I love him smmmm <333

I would like that support they give you when you finally talk about that hell, my mom just turned her back on me and every day of my life, every night no matter what "good" things happen, I feel miserable.Ami, no one loved me at that time, that's why no one believed me, I just want to know that someone cared about me,Someone notice that I no longer sit here, I'm more on the other side. Maybe I should have taken the secret to the grave.

I was SA’d as a child multiple times and have religious trauma, this is surprisingly comforting for me as I lay in bed in my room that hasn’t changed at all since childhood even if I’m well into high school now The walls are still painted a pretty purple , I have multiple stuffed animals on my bed, there’s a fluffy rug on the floor, and glow stars on the ceiling. Even if I’m not an innocent little lamb anymore, my safe space hasn’t changed at all

8:20 how I feel

Vent. [MAJOR TW] when i was about three i had my eye glued shut i wasnt strong enough to open just the one eye so i was like blind for a year and a half, one day i went to daycare i needed someone to help me walk around bc i couldnt see (ofc) they walked into the bathroom with me and stole my childhood. I have been traumatised ever since. I was three . Thats not ok infact all your abusers should know this and if they do it anyways its not your fault.

can u do a cute lil soft lamb playlist next? not trauma core just cute and soft! :3

I didnt realize how much it really hurt then. I didnt realize how serious it was. I didnt realize it wasnt normal for my mom to brush it off. I was stuck with him.

I'm not all that active with RUclips comments, but this feels like a safe space (CW) It happened with my grandfather when I was around 4. He was drunk at a barbecue and I didn't say anything because I didn't know what really happened. He did the same thing to my cousin years later and I still feel that overwhelming guilt over not being able to protect her. And even now, I just recently got out of a "friendship" where that friend constantly touched me and convinced me it was just an act of platonic love. I can't stand to be in my own skin anymore, but this playlist makes me feel okay, even for a little bit. I wish I were like a lamb again. I wish nothing were stolen from me. I wish everyone here the best and wish healing to everyone. No one here deserved what happened to them.

tw i live with a bipolar mother and a sister who used to chase me with a knife. one of my escapes was my next door naighbor, he was really nice but he started giving me gifts and touching me. it never excelated to anything else, and it was never that bad, but i still hate that i cant be alone with a man without being terrified now. i just want to live normally. without being scared. but im always terrified. its like i cant escape it.