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I'm honestly about to quit. I keep trying, but nothing is working. Nobody wants to play with me. Groups I join don't want to talk to me. It's a nightmare. I don't get it. Free companies are meaningless. They want you to join, and maybe they pay attention to you when you're shiny and new, but after that, you're nothing again. I don't crave attention. I just want to be a part of something anything to make all of this worth it. Don't get me started on how anti-social randoms are. And I get it. Why would you invest anything into someone who you will probably never see again. I just hate it. I want to play, but it's so depressing. I walk around and log out. I've been playing for almost 11 years on and off, and it's just been getting worse and worse.

All you need to know is that God is always near so you are never alone. As long as you can add people to your friends list & world server hop, you can always make a friend, just emote with a lalafell & they become your minion.

Got character assassinated by someone in the friend group i built...turned out to be their own trauma and circles upon circles of miscommunication/jealousy..it was terrible. They had a fantastic low key affect and sense of humor, so nobody could see the fucked up shit they were doing. its sucks because all the people in the group bought their coolaid and now im too afraid to make fanart they might see. It killed my 7+ year love of the game, and i quit for a year+. Barely starting to recover my love of ffxiv 4 years on. Its so weird to watch otherwise reasonable people turn each other into...that.

I somehow lost the ability to interact with others in this game. Even tho i used to make new friends literally every day before. I dont even know what to do these days to meet new people.

I've seen a few videos like this appearing andit is comforting. Mainly because I'm a glass half empty person and everyone who talks about FF14 only talk about the positives and amazing communities. They never talk about the downer moments, and often pretend they aren't real. My experiences were real, so it's interesting. I might make my own video.

How would you even start again though? I thought about this myself but have no answers. Social death just feels present everywhere imo. I’ve made so many friends in the past from CoD, LoL, VRChat. I made some friends in FFXIV but only because my VRChat friends introduced me. I guess I take a lot of responsibility though. The older I got, the less social and more awkward I became.

I just recently lost a good friend in the FC due to drama that had sprung up and never did I think did they leave so suddenly because of the drama

I don't play on my main much anymore cause there is never any ex mount farms or raid learning so now I just make new chara and replay the game

Feels a bit disheartening ot hear about this, as someone just starting out. :( I hope I can avoid those parts of the community. Then again, I am on Free Trial right now and can't join FCs at all. So that might be a blessing in disguise. ;)

oh i feel this. my social death happened just before endwalker launch. fc broke apart, ofc. still don't know what happened or if i did anything, but i just got ghosted one day. the 2 friends that were not involved with that fc stopped logging in because of irl changes (deployment). now they are lost with the plot so they don't really want to take on all they've missed now. so i was/am all alone and at first i was just hyped with the new expac... until i noticed the theme is about not being alone, and sticking together. it literally broke me. i started siding with meteion in my head lol. i almost killed myself right around the time the first part of the alliance raid came out. i'm happier now... i did end up making some friends in the modding community, but then that all fell apart too lol. i know im the common denominator in all of this so it's most likely me. i just wish i knew what i was doing so wrong. i have autism so its hard for me to know without someone telling me, but at the same time the modding drama made me realize that maybe it's better if i dont have friends. idk why i even play really. basically its my creativity outlet and i love the story. longstory short, i'm so happy this expac is almost over. (i also got divorced like 3 months into the game, on top of it all, so yea... not good times.)

As a primarily solo player (I'm like this in most MMOs), this is a very interesting phenomenon because, in-game, I've never felt isolated or lonely in this way. Do you think there's a difference between those who play solo by choice and those who don't?

I try to make sure I don't associate with the mentally immature. by that I mean those who cannot have a discussion with those who may disagree with them civilly, among other factors. Sadly if you want to raid, its impossible to find mature adult raiders becuase all of them are too busy trying to survive, working triple overtime.

This background music sounds like the song from persona 5

I think my social death of FFXIV started like a year ago when someone i was playing, raiding and watching series and movies together via discord, but all of sudden she decided to remove herself from the game and discord and months later some of our friends left the FC we hang out together. Then when started this last tier i started working and had any time to focus in the game since i got late in my home and had any energy for that. Tried for months to talk to her, but no avail and she blocked me on txt. A month ago i tried to talk to her through some of our friends and he blocked me too and i'm still suffering of her exit from the game. Because how we liked each other was so great and never met someone like that. I progging DSR with a static but i having great time there even without a FC playing some other games with old friends who didn't came to FFXIV.

Social death is what killed my first character in FFXIV, I was hyped up by friends for the release of ARR and preordered, still got the Cait Sith minion and everything. It was a fun whirlwind, figuring out where to get a Chocobo, how to do dungeons, running Aurum Vale over and over to get past the XP hurdle, and even sitting in 2-3 hour wait queues for DPS... I still remember fondly waiting in a stupid cave with 20 people for the Chimera to spawn for my relic weapon questline, it was great! All with my friends with me, but this is around the time they started getting into raids while I was too spooked to even dip my toes in, social anxiety is a bitch when being told how brutal the raids are and fearing I'd bring everyone down if I joined in. Regardless they started to get more into that side of things while I was twiddling my thumbs, spending my time glamming more than anything but I did notice we were talking less and less. I had to take a break from the game for a month because of IRL things and when I came back they were gone, quite literally, they had all hopped to different servers with their own groups. I thought about joining them but I wasn't about to redo everything I had worked for nor could I justify a server transfer and even if I did which friend would I join? They'd just be busy with raiding anyways, so I languished more or less, too attached to our stupid FC to dip out and find other people and too timid to even try Alliance Raids (my favorite content in FFXIV nowadays). That lasted up until the time they introduced the first hard mode dungeons, I ran Copperbell (Hard) a whole bunch for the slime minion and maybe 2 weeks later my sub ran out and I was in the middle of moving so I let it stay that way... All the way until the announcement of Shadowbringers when a new group of friends were excited about it and it got me back into the game, though on a new server so I left my first where it was as a reminder of the past. Wish it had a happy ending but those friends also ended up leaving me too, life is like that sometimes, but I've seen learned to just have fun on my own, hunting glam pieces and going back to older raid lines to experience the story. I have a new FC now but we don't really do much in hindsight, it's just nice to chat with some people every now and then, on the most part while I do have friends in the game I don't really need them to just enjoy myself. It's been fun and I'm looking forward to Dawntrail to have more fun, can't ask for much more really, haha.

as a fellow aussie on na who doesn't want to transfer cause of attachment. god i feel you so hard on basically all of this video but this point in particular. i have no idea what to do. i wish i could wipe my slate clean and go to materia for better ping and in theory better timezones sync with other players but i just can't.

Thing is, community overall degraded after ffxiv hit it's popularity phase in 2021 with all those famous RUclipsrs and influencers coming in. Nobody gave a thing about jokes beforehand. Brushed snarky comments away like no problem. People were sincerely friendly and helpful. Then...with time more and more snowflakes, toxic positivity people and pure venomous personalities became more prominent. Or were they always there? As someone who was deeply entangled in the social life of ffxiv all I can say is this: I had to "sleep with a knife under my pillow" in friendships around a year and a half before I quit. People will report you for literally anything nowadays. Or worse: manipulate others from your surroundings by making lies so people hate you. They might even ruin your in-game social life and run your mental health into the ground For those who are still playing - be aware. Nobody is your friend in ffxiv at this day and age. Be wary of manipulators and social exploiters. To author: Games are for fun! If you're not having any, try some others :>

Shit this was me but my own fault lol

Cringe. It’s a game

If the time zone dosnt work or looking to see other servers you can switch worlds in game at the aether stone or if you want to try another server you can do that at the charicter select screen under your charicter before you go into game with that charicter hope that helps 😊

This scares me. I have just met so many cool people in this game the last few days and im new to this game but imagining if people fall apart to arguments or drama scares me. My journey's just begun but i dont like to think of a bad end. I just hope future me at the least still talks to all the people ive met in a positive light :*)

weird thing. My friend got me into this game and initially I just wanted to get into it for the Monster Hunter collab but I love the story but I am so bad socially I cannot just make friends of my own. I feel as if it's me but I also have a very weird schedule. I kinda feel this video in the sense that I feel as if I may not have a place in the game but I'm loving it story wise.

There's a reason my FC plays other video games together all the time and run a D&D campaign with them

When Blizzard crapped the bed back in 2022, and a lot of people moved to different games, me and my friend group moved on over to FFXIV - we made a FC, planned on doing RP, did so much set up between alts and writing while trying to get into the world, and we effectively just... - drifted apart. Nowadays we're distantly and loosely around each other whenever we log back on to WoW, but it feels like that distance hasn't closed - I've tried to expand my relative group and failed every time (about four counts now, between public RP to PvE). Stuff with my primary go-to bud is touch-and-go as they've found someone new on FFXIV, and are raiding and working on top of that - so time to do stuff is... quiet. I came over with my social circle pre-built, and it still ended up dying and leaving me relatively alone; we mostly just use the FC bank for transferring funds between alts, and the FC house for Gposing environments. And I'm starting to get the itch again to start coming back, to try again, but the times before of the friend circle falling apart, then every attempt for outreach falling on relatively deaf and uninterested ears is warding me off.

Create your own FC for other socially lacking people and be socially lacking together. :D

For anyone reading this comment that feels like they don't belong, I have a smol FC on the Light datacenter (EU) that isn't very large or filled with constant chatter, but is quite comfy and wholesome. There's a lot of good vibes and people that log in every day, as well as people that are willing to play other games together outside of FFXIV!

Yeah, had that back in WoW Pandaria. Tryed FFXIV too but never really connected, dropped it and stick ever since alone.

I play too many different games to properly enjoy any MMO but I feel like I've still experienced this somewhere

I have been playing MMOs since 1999: Everquest I & II, DAoC, WoW, GW I & II, DCUO, Rift, FFXIV and have seen this happen in every MMO I have played for over 20 years. Online relationships are just not a reliable replacement for actual, meaningful, IRL relationships and it shouldn't be. They are houses built on sand. Online relationships are mercurial and can "end" simply from someone just no longer logging on or who simply went to play a different game.

I started 14 with a small group of close friends who joined around the same time, however they’ve all since stopped playing entirely. As someone who struggles a LOT with social anxiety it’s gotten to the point where I don’t have a single name on my friends list that I actually know beyond ‘raided with once or twice’. I feel you as I’m also OCE on NA servers and playing both at awkward time zones and on primal which is less popular than aether it’s very difficult to find friends. I love the game, i love the raids, i love the story, i even love relaxing with daily roulettes, but it feels so hollow when the entirety of my social activity on the game is an o/ and a tyfp. I just don’t understand how people make friends on this game and its so demotivating to play this game that i love when it feels so empty. I know this a lot can be blamed on my “inability” to put myself out there but it’s scary to do so. I don’t even know why i’m writing this where no one will likely read it, but you’re not alone in this feeling. I hope you find what you’re looking for and gain the satisfaction and bonds that this game can and has provided before.

8:48 I plan on restarting my ff14 life and jumping from Aether to Dynamis myself. I don't care much about the friendship aspect of my experience anymore, because I'm sick of people anyway. I planned on being a solo recluse which is why I'm hopping to a dead (as of now) server. I'm tired of people ruining my fun in this game.

I never made any friends in FFXIV. Most people I've met in FFXIV have been dicks. I avoid FCs like the plague. They're all cliques, filled with drama. Glorified cults who have their inner social circle whom they trust and no on else else. You lament that you made friends and have now lost them? Pardon me if I don't shed a tear. At least you made some, and had friends to lose. I came back to FFXIV after a seven-year hiatus from 2.0 to a community that was vastly different from the one I left it. Apart from which, you are talking specifically about statics. You should count yourself lucky you even found a static. I HAVE YET TO EVEN ENTER AN ULTIMATE. EVER.

After years of playing the game, meeting and losing so many friends and just recently losing my closest online friends, I decided to quit this game. Besides this constant back and forth with people which to me as someone with severe anxiety and low social battery and the game having no content left for me, I think it’s my time to leave the world of FF. I long considered FF as my home, it brought me a lot of comfort throughout the years, the characters, the story, the FCs I was in, the push to achieve the highest goals (aka clearing Ultimate raids and savage etc). I just now found this video and it brings back all those memories. Most of them were great and I will dearly miss this game, as it has been such a big part of my life for so long. But it also helped me realize that I am much more of a solo player, occasionally I will play a game with my boyfriend and to me that is enough. But it’s so hard to say goodbye countless times to people …

Yeah, I get that... I'm in a Free Company that's pretty much a revolving door/pyramid scheme (they just invite like EVERYONE, but kick people if they haven't logged in for 2 weeks without requesting leave-of-absence). Friends I made in the FC end up leaving the game for extended periods of time & getting kicked, which sucks. But for the first few years I played the game, I've been a solo player so I don't really lean in too hard to the social aspects - might just /wave emote at some friends or people I recognize from FATEs. I might chat in FC if there's already a lively discussion or people ask questions/say hi, but it's also not uncommon for me to filter out FC chat to focus on "Area" chat (party, alliance, shout, yell, say).

I haven't played with friends since the start of endwalker, 2 of my friends pretty much took off raiding and just at a point I was so busy with life and other mental health issues I did have to dip from the static we did have. My friends either stopped playing or got so far ahead I came back and had no one to really play with. Not that I got to play with my friennds alot anyways. I was in a public fc with them that was good but I was too shy to really interact and I eventually stopped playing since I was too afraid to pf and figure out how to gear level. I get on every once and awhile and just level my crafters a little bit but I really did miss having that group I got together with even if it was for a short time. It reminded me of my Old Destiny 2 Raiding group and I consider that to be Top 3 Happiest Memories of my life.

My experience with the FFXIV community is that there are a lot of angry, miserable and volatile people. I think going as far back as even stormblood the game was still fine. After that though not so much. A chunk of the people I used to play with have left the game or just come on to play for a bit of content and then disappear, which I've basically done the same. I've definitely seen cliques within large FC's. I've seen people blow up on people for even questioning something another person said (with no ill intent). I've seen people get super angry because someone said they job they played is very easy compared to X other job. I've seen people rage because they weren't invited to do X content. I even defended someone in one of these situations and then somehow found myself on the receiving end even by the person I had stuck up for which was hilarious because I had no attachment to the FC at the time. I've made enough friends there to still come on and enjoy content, but I think it's harder to find just cool people that are laid back and on the same wavelengths as you. Anywho, still playing as of right now, but very casually. I'm in an FC by myself with 1 other person and one of the major reasons I've logged in is ALSO to save my medium sized house lmao. Good luck to anyone still playing. The community sucks but there are a few great people who are just friendly and genuinely enjoy playing with other people.

what game is this?

best part about not having a social life is not experiencing social death

From FF to games like Destiny 1 & 2. I’ve been in some great clans and FC. Good experiences and met some good people. But eventually some just move on to greener pastures. Some can’t handle changes to the game. As far as D2 which was my main game, I’ve met great people, and got lost in the bs drama. I was only ever trying to enjoy the game I’ve been part of for so long. Two close friends are living their own life’s. Have kids. While I’m back at square one with finding an active friendly clan to do fun stuff with. With people I don’t have to be too socially awkward with. And shoot the shit with whenever. Maybe someday.

wait, people dont just play with randos you never see again ???

This one was so relatable. I switched servers when that was an option to join my "partner in crime"'s FC, only to be kicked out after not being online for a bit. Losing those "friends" made me do the entire Endwalker expansion alone. Social anxiety is too real of an issue for me, and trying to find another group all over again is exhausting and scary. Thank you for sharing your experience.

MMO's are an awful way to make friends. From all the people I've connected with in any MMO I only still talk to one. The other people have fucked me over, lied, and manipulated me. Twitch is a better way to find friends and that place is also a shit hole. Fuck, I've had people turn on me for the friends they made in FF14. It's a shit game that turns people into assholes. Don't make friends on MMO's. I'm tryin to warn y'all, not be a bitter asshole trying to ruin your fun.

I played ff14 for 4 months and never met anyone playing the game. I quit a month after the free trial because the stark lack of community.

I know this all too well, especially as an Aussie who didn’t get the memo that all the Aussies were on Kujata or Tonberry and by the time I learned about that I not only had an FC but those servers were locked. And then since Materia DC opening, at least from what I had heard, the raiding scene wasn’t so great. And so I stayed on my server only to have 1 FC die and I found another for them to just grow and for me to completely fade into the background. Because being spicy brained and awkward is one thing, but not even being able to be on when others mostly are to do things makes it even harder to become one of the in group. Eventually I’d had enough of feeling lonely and had been hanging out in houses on another server so moved my character there, joined an FC and the cycle started again. One thing I’ve wanted to do is to raid but like need a static who understands me and I understand them to do it, but I don’t feel that’s going to happen. And so without anything else tying me to the game and the just empty grind sinking in I stopped playing for now

I think I disagree this has anything to do with FFXIV, the only uniqueness is the type of activity. "Social death" has happened to me in two FCs, one that had gotten a lot of drama (which can and has happened in IRL friend groups too, especially when romantic relationships are involved) and another where the FC was created from a gaming Discord community that eventually died because no one was trying anymore. Social death happened again with a rock climbing group I was a part of and another time with a DBD, another game, community. Imo a lot of it has nothing to do with one particular game or other people, sometimes it has all to do with people just moving on with life. People move onto other more popular games, some people have life priorities like school, work, family. Some people just fall out of love with the hobby, gaming in general. Hobbies losing appeal is normal and looking into a crowd and feeling lonely is normal after losing groups who move on from one another. Are there weirdos in FFXIV? Yes. But there are weirdos everywhere, in every community, online and irl. Finding the next social group takes trial and error as well as some willpower to push being social.

Social death... damn. Yeah, that's the best phrasing for it right there. Seems like I can never get traction when trying to revive my FFXIV social life anymore. It feels like it gets harder as each iterative attempt falls through. Hoping that Dawntrail is a big enough lightning strike to get things going again. Great video. Thanks for sharing your perspective.

I was kicked out of an FC after repeatedly getting bullied by people for not liking FF7R. I'm in an FC now but they're just people from a discord who play the game about as much as I do (not a lot). I've been a solo player for more of my 14 career. I don't wanna be social to be honest. It just causes drama. Oh, I also kinda got in some drama with a static whom I wasn't a member of but was basically a permanent sub for. I was starting to get treated like a full member, with all the responsibilities and guilt tripping that come with it. You know, the exact reason why I didn't want to join a static in the first place.

I can't WAIT to see this game in the graveyard in a stale toxic server with only the dwindling toxic 'pro gamers' who killed the player base.

I played from 2011-2022 in which time my FC went through two big phases. A lot of people did not like the 2.0 version of the game so they left and it was a really volatile time for a couple years building up a friend group of players who wanted to keep playing. Around 2018 some friends and I noticed the majority of our FC had not logged on for a year and for me that was my social death stopped doing much of the content that wasn't raiding or main story related. I kept playing for a few years because in the past I had enjoyed all the endgame content but after a while I noticed I enjoyed it because people made it fun and without them it was really just the same expansion content cycle repeating.

#chickProblems