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I think another thing to be acknowledged is that not every trans person wants to or can get surgery. And sometimes, cisgender butch lesbians want top surgery and/or to wear a binder. Not saying you fit in these categories, of course. Just something to acknowledge.

And then there's discrimination between the passing/conforming trans people, and those who don't/can't/won't. Respectability politics is one giant game of "Don't attack ME, I'm one of the _good_ ones!" It reminds me of a sermon my dad told me about of the moral failings of the Three Billy Goats Gruff. Each one crossing the bridge by telling the troll that the next brother would be even bigger and juicier. Selling out your comrades to get the trolls to leave you alone.

Ah, the algorithm. Gotta love it. Fellow INFJ here, similar journey, different specifics. Looking forward to checking out more of your content!!

Great video!! I remember watching this documentary on YT a couple years ago. I searched it up to make sure it's the one I thought I'd seen, and it's no longer on YT! I had to watch it through another platform. That is extra weird to me and supports your sweeping under the rug point. :-(. So I want to ask, do you have an update? I resonate so much.

Hormonal Nutjobs that's my band name thank uuuuuuu

I think I had a real delayed individuating process.

You lost me when you started talking about "trans" as if it's something real and not desperate self delusion. My ex, a butch, fell down the T and surgeries hole.

I was litteraly in the same exact position. Growing up in an extremely Christian home, I assumed I had to be a man traped in a woman's body, because that was the only way it was ok for me to like women. I thought I was trans for years and years without having the language for it. Knowing that in the church I could not be gay, I thought I had to be a man. I had the same logic as a child as you. I was extremely hurt by these assumptions of my self, and it was not until adulthood that I began to accept my self as a lesbian.

Hey! It’s been a year since your last update. I hope we can see another video from you. Did you ever do that tour you planned on going on?

So cool as an INFJ Sagittarius! Entertaining clips on these types! I stumbled upon your channel through the RUclips algorithm today! 🤗🤗🤗

Completely agree. I'm a 19 year old butch and it feels like I'm the only one. Everyone else tells me butch is old school and they're all non binary now. I'm never going to change it though to fit in, I'm very happy with who I am. I'm always going to be butch no matter what everyone else my age says.

This is fascinating as an ace person lol. I certainly have noticed the repression side of things a lot from straight women in my life. Im talking about allosexual (non ace) people who know they want to date men, have ideas of what they want sexually- but wait to be pursued and kind of just? Go along with what men want in the bedroom and have shame around their needs. It’s sad. I really appreciate your take on this though, I wonder why things have changed. It sounds like maybe a cultural shift? Just to share a bit of my experiences: I exclusively date women but I have actually felt isolated by the queer community for not being as sexual, not being a ‘nice shoes, wanna fuck’ type person. I’ve tried my hand at that sort of hooking up culture and I just can’t find people I just meet sexually attractive no matter how much I am drawn to their vibe or style. But I guess thats the difference, I know it’s not for me. It’s sad when people know theyre into that but struggle to put it in action.

Agreed! As a femme myself, I'm only attracted to butch lesbian women. My girlfriend is butch, and I feel very fortunate to have found her, as butch lesbians have become few and far between. I get annoyed with constantly seeing femmes most everywhere.

I am not particularly butch, just enough, along with my refusal to conform to gender performances, to have been outwardly rejected by many. Femininity, apart from the process of being a mother, for me, is inseparable to much of the abuse I have experienced.

As someone whose type is masculine lesbians and butch beautiful gorgeous amazing sweet lesbians (sorry i got exited) im tired of being asked if i'm also attracted to trans men/ nonbinary ppl

I think there are people who will take offense with what you said about non binary identities but I also feel that it needed to be said. There's definitely people who are genuinely non binary and genuinely trans. But there's also people who've internalised the idea that they're doing womanhood incorrectly. I have experience in the second camp. Right now, I'm fully and only identifying as a woman. I don't feel non binary and I don't feel trans. But when I was a teenager I felt discomfort partially because I didn't see adult masculine women anywhere. I felt that I wasn't allowed to consider myself fully a woman because of my presentation, sexuality, and certain preferences. As I grew older I became more accepting and sure of myself and more critical of the society around me I realised that I only identify with womanhood. I don't feel any sort of connection to non binary and trans and quite honestly it's been a relief to finally be able to see myself as a "proper" woman. I wouldn't have gone through certain distress in my life if being a masculine woman was seen as acceptable. I'm glad that non binary people are getting the representation they need and I wish masculine cis women would get the same.

The fact that you were confused about what sexual orientation is doesn't mean trans men are confused lesbians. What you're expressing is evidence that religion is bad, not that trans people are confused gay people. I do not merely "identify" as trans. I *am* trans.

Omg! This makes me so happy! So nice to see a butch talking about this. All my butch friends have transitioned or are on T “casually.” We are going to see a lot of them regret it, especially young butches who don’t know any other community than what they came out into; in fact, it’s already happening. People used to spend a lot longer on making these choices to ensure they wouldn’t regret it, but it seems like that’s not the case anymore. It’s so cool that you’re here for young butches to see.

Imo we have evolved to be social, and also evolved to use comparisons. Unfortunately that makes identity a recipe for pain for many many people. Add to this that the conversations on needed topics are hushed and you will get a continuation of our current muddied misunderstandings. I'm very different from you but I see your pain and it feels familiar to me. I think one of the most painful things a human can feel is to feel chronically misunderstood, and not affirmed. I want you to know that listening to this little bit of your experiences and thoughts was helpful to me and I can tell there is a lot more that can't fit in a video. You are a great speaker and I think a lot of people would benefit from hearing your perspective. And lastly it's encouraging to see someone be vulnerable&authentic admit when things hurt and are hard. I try to suppress my own emotions tbh but you even got thru to my cold heart. Wish you well in life and subscribed.

I agree 100%. I’m a 27 yr old androgynous lesbian who is exclusively attracted to butches. It’s difficult to find butches.It seems like masculine lesbians these days identify as non binary, trans masculine, Masculine of center, the list goes on. I do feel like the lack of representation in media, lesbian spaces in real life, ignorance of lesbian history and culture plays a huge role in this. I also agree that since masculine lesbians are demonized so much that masculine lesbians try to opt out of that by identifying as something else to avoid it. Which I feel doesn’t work because it doesn’t matter how you identify. If people hate masculine presenting women your identity doesn’t matter. Great video!

I have so had enough of TERFs. I never belonged to you. I am not your lost lesbian sister. You are not afraid, and you are not being silenced.

We need to save our butch culture

I was same way....when I was little and played house I wanted to be the husband too ....my name is actually Karen but wanna change it to Kameron and I did pretty much same as you but I’m not trans.

You spilled

Loved this talk. Definitely some stuff I needed to hear, and am still making progress on giving myself permission. The trip videos sound rad.

omg yessssss. i have a few friends who think they're so progressive and open-minded when they actually say some pretty blatantly transphobic stuff sometimes and it's been wedging a gap between us because i don't really know how to the approach the topic with them. i know they don't mean to be hateful ignorant asses but honestly, alot of times thats exactly what they are. maybe it's time for me to follow your lead and bluntly tell them when they're being transphobic. awesome vid as always!

This really hit close to home for me in alot of ways. Thank you for making these kinds of videos...I feel like you talk about alot of hard uncomfortable stuff that not many other people talk about and Im happy we have you bringing these issues to light.

oh man you always come up with the best topics lol. its crazy to think about because i totally remember when i was younger my mom would always make comments about how "boys wouldn't want someone so demanding or needy or nagging" or whatever it was she thought i was being at the time and how i should learn to just be quiet and easy to get along with. god those early messages really shaped me so much and probably did alot of damage to my self-esteem and self-image. i'm endeavoring to be more like you! lol. i have a friend is very open and cool about everything like you are and i hope one day i get to that place of acceptance. :)

Just came here from r/butchlesbians I’m in a really difficult position. I’m a detrans butch-that is, I identified as a trans man, started transitioning, and then realized I’m actually a butch lesbian. I feel like if I’d seen ANY butch representation, that would have helped-there’s not a ton of trans masculine rep, but there’s just enough (often made by independent online creators) that I was able to see myself in these men more than I was able to see myself in the femmes of the L word and other lesbian rep. Then, part way through my transition, I realized I was getting dysphoria over the masculine traits T was giving me, I started questioning my gender, and I realized what was going on. Part of what helped was a trans youtubers, Contrapoints, bringing up a book called Female Masculinity-which I read and resonated with. So it took a high femme trans lesbian woman with a RUclips channel for me to *finally* make contact with the identity, history, and culture I belonged to. So, yeah. I’d say there’s a problem with representation an demonization. I don’t really like at 2:30 where you’re saying people who would identify as butch are ‘just’ identifying as non-binary, but at the same time I do think that these days, non-binary and trans identities are more accessible than ‘butch’ is, and I do feel like it’s due to an issue with representation. I thought butch was ‘woman who tries to look mannish to attract women’ because that’s how my homophobic father described it to me as a child, and I was never taught differently.

Oh wow awesome news! Not gonna lie I'm hella jealous lmao. Hope you have a blast and stay safe and upload vids when you can of your gay encounters haha.

Yay, one vaccine down here too! Schools are open here, and many folks are being pretty lax on masks and stuff, but we’re keeping safe still. Glad you’re safe...look forward to more vids 😁.

Hey good to see you again! I was worried you might have left! I love Rory's Brainworks!! I'm def curious to see you try one of his tutorials! Wardrobe/Style vids are always good. Idk about everyone else but I'm always interested in what other people are wearing. I'm also just kinda nosey tho so....lol. :P

Very similar to my story. I was into girls at a very, very young age and that was exactly my way of thinking when I was like four or five. Girls like boys so I need to become one. I’m glad I’m not a guy, of course, but that came later. Yeah the word lesbian was a great discovery for me too, I was like 12. I can relate so much with what you say. Thanks very much for sharing

I'm trying to leave my mind open to the possibility of dating a woman who has kids but honestly i'm still in my 20s so I'm just ready to settle down like yet. Time will tell though.

As a straight guy this was really informative and eye opening. My little brother is gay and I love him so much and I always accepted him but I know he went through alot of struggles with it especially when he was in high school and even though we were in to religion growing up or anything our parents still didn't take it too well and were kind of dicks to him. I'm still really close with him and this video made realize he probably went through more internally and emotionally than I even thought. I should probably call him now and tell him I love him.

wow i relate so much. i was also raised in a very religious family although we were catholic. i knew pretty young that i like girls but i guess like alot of other people i kind of pushed it down and denied it to fit in and also i was worried about what my parents would think and if they would disown me. I didn't really come out until i was in college but i wondered for awhile in high school if maybe god put me in the wrong body and i was really a boy and maybe that was why i always seemed to like girls. anyways i just related to alot of what you said and it was really validating to hear from someone that went through similar things. Thanks for making this video. :)

ugh I can relate. I love women. all women. I just can't date women with kids anymore. It's too heartbreaking when it ends.

“Scorpios are the most common...oh that explains a lot” 😂.

I’m also down to a no for previous experience. Let’s see why

I am an “eternal optimist” type of INFJ, but since you are on the boundary of INTJ I get why you may not be. I am getting to know an INTJ (I suspect they might border the F a bit), who is super sweet, but also I kinda see the less optimistic aspect for sure. Omg, married to an ENFJ and I was dying at your loud comment haha.

holy shit that intro lol. quite the mouthful heh

As a Leo...Can confirm we're best in bed. :P

omfg this was funnier than the mbti memes! lmaooooo "aries slide into my dm" lol. my whole face hurts from ugly laughing hahaha.

omg I literally cackled on the ISFJ as Switzerland one! lmao. "the beige wall paint of people" lololol. lord girl my coffee just went through my nose.

Yes, another video!

Dang you're just coming with all the heavy vids and i'm here for it! Love love love this vid! Such an important convo! ; )

Thank you for these words and the knowledge I'm not TOTALLY alone out here. Maybe I oughta start my own channel too!

Awesome video. Noticed this a lot here in Miami. I feel exactly as you, thank you

I agree with some of your points, but I take umbrage to the idea that people identifying as nonbinary are "taking away" from butches, and that being nonbinary is internalized misogyny. I'm nonbinary and butch; if someone is nonbinary, they can still identify as butch, and if someone identifies as nonbinary and isn't butch or isn't even a lesbian or wlw, they shouldn't have to be shunted into a label that doesn't suit them. Nonbinary isn't "I'm afraid of being a woman" or "I don't think women can be masculine". It's so much more than that, so much deeper and more involved, and I don't like that some butches think that being nonbinary is incompatible with being butch or that it's some misogynistic fad. Besides which, you can be nonbinary and still celebrate your connections to womanhood. There is a lack of genuine butch representation in media, but that's not the fault of trans people, and trans people who happily identify as trans would not be happy identifying solely as a masculine woman. That's why we're trans.

Grand video...cool thoughts. The percentages are a nice aspect. I am on the j/p cusp myself. I always test INFx, but as I unquestionably lead with Ni..it’s ultimately INFJ. It’s a pretty cool tool to explore, but it really does suck when people try to excuse their behavior that way.