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I dunno, Joan/Erin, I think it probably is a sin to love you...

Do you potentially have a reading of My Immortal I gotsta know

You'd be surprised. I went into the fic knowing it was a trollfic(found Moonhorse's reading), but as a Texan, there are women that are legot 100% like this. Like MH was constantly cracking up in his reading because it sounded so _genuine._ And yes. Even in my relatively blue city, there are many women(especially in the church I grew up in) like this. Typically middle aged. And of course there's the TERFs and Tradwives out there too. I feel like it's 100% obvious in the last chapter, and it's quite fun to comb through all the details in a reread like it's a scavenger hunt lol

9:40 Gawly it's giving My Immortal (C, was dat mysoginastuc???)

If tradwives are Help Meat, then I am clearly Mystery Meat. Also, considering Hermie is the daughter of the _Reverend,_ I'm assuming Hagrid already knows her and they're all just humoring Harry and trying to make him feel smart.

I don't think Gryffindor Caps are any specific Branch. I think they're just Megachurch. Like. Just Southern Megachurch community.

Your art reminds me of charming Scholastic covers

To be fair to badly written bible verses; they _are_ badly translated from generation to generation, and on _top_ of that(depending on where you stand) either completely made up, or humans horrifically misinterpreting the words of angels and God, sooo. . . But yeah, the bible makes me feel like I have dyslexia. I dunno how I managed to comprehend any of it as a kid lol

I love all your tangents, they've made me laugh out loud several times this far lol

So Harry could smell the food before Dumbledore prayed for it, and Harry assumes Minerva is involved. Either they made it all and prayed for it to be randomly teleported instead of just. Bringing it out, or it's a televangelist-level scam.

I think they're implying that "Dumbledore" is fanfic Albus' first name. Oh lordy.

I know this is a trollfic, but it all feels so genuine. The author got the well meaning absurdly bigoted southern christian belle down pat lol

After watching Uzumaki's bad adaptation, something clicked in my brain and now I've been working on my very first writing project(Transformers Horror, having a blast lol), planning out the plot, structure, researching details to make it accurate to canon, get characters right, decomstruct elements, get a list of running gags, etc. and I have been on an absolutely unstoppable bad fanfiction bender. This reading in particular is _hilarious._ I'm an agnostic southern christian who is so perturbed by any sort of religious face-shoving and this is _sending me._

"I may not be a professional writer, _VIOLENT COUGH"_

You're back! One one eleven one!

"We ejaculated from the plane." Yep, we're back.

Oh god I can't stop laughing. You always come up with the best ideas for the post-credit? bits asdfghjk

So will there come a My Immortal reading one day?

how is this 15yrs old

ppl really need to stop throwing rape n assault into their fanfictions just to try to deepen their plots n characters... its comes across like dis...no joke.

still coming back here to get a good laugh now and then :p

Big part of my childhood right here. I still have that shitty dell laptop

Love how esme is just casually making cookies as her children murder each other

Ratigan better start running, cos the amount of fangirls that will go to war for Basil will probably end up drowning him 😂

January 13, 2024 Saturday of the First Week in Ordinary Time Lectionary: 310 Reading I 1 Sm 9:1-4, 17-19; 10:1 There was a stalwart man from Benjamin named Kish, who was the son of Abiel, son of Zeror, son of Becorath, son of Aphiah, a Benjaminite. He had a son named Saul, who was a handsome young man. There was no other child of Israel more handsome than Saul; he stood head and shoulders above the people. Now the asses of Saul’s father, Kish, had wandered off. Kish said to his son Saul, “Take one of the servants with you and go out and hunt for the asses.” Accordingly they went through the hill country of Ephraim, and through the land of Shalishah. Not finding them there, they continued through the land of Shaalim without success. They also went through the land of Benjamin, but they failed to find the animals. When Samuel caught sight of Saul, the LORD assured him, “This is the man of whom I told you; he is to govern my people.” Saul met Samuel in the gateway and said, “Please tell me where the seer lives.” Samuel answered Saul: “I am the seer. Go up ahead of me to the high place and eat with me today. In the morning, before dismissing you, I will tell you whatever you wish.” Then, from a flask he had with him, Samuel poured oil on Saul’s head; he also kissed him, saying: “The LORD anoints you commander over his heritage. You are to govern the LORD’s people Israel, and to save them from the grasp of their enemies roundabout. “This will be the sign for you that the LORD has anointed you commander over his heritage.” Responsorial Psalm 21:2-3, 4-5, 6-7 R. (2a) Lord, in your strength the king is glad. O LORD, in your strength the king is glad; in your victory how greatly he rejoices! You have granted him his heart’s desire; you refused not the wish of his lips. R. Lord, in your strength the king is glad. For you welcomed him with goodly blessings, you placed on his head a crown of pure gold. He asked life of you: you gave him length of days forever and ever. R. Lord, in your strength the king is glad. Great is his glory in your victory; majesty and splendor you conferred upon him. For you made him a blessing forever; you gladdened him with the joy of your face. R. Lord, in your strength the king is glad. Alleluia Lk 4:18 R. Alleluia, alleluia. The Lord sent me to bring glad tidings to the poor and to proclaim liberty to captives. R. Alleluia, alleluia. Gospel Mk 2:13-17 Jesus went out along the sea. All the crowd came to him and he taught them. As he passed by, he saw Levi, son of Alphaeus, sitting at the customs post. Jesus said to him, “Follow me.” And he got up and followed Jesus. While he was at table in his house, many tax collectors and sinners sat with Jesus and his disciples; for there were many who followed him. Some scribes who were Pharisees saw that Jesus was eating with sinners and tax collectors and said to his disciples, “Why does he eat with tax collectors and sinners?” Jesus heard this and said to them, “Those who are well do not need a physician, but the sick do. I did not come to call the righteous but sinners.”

"The nervousness of one who is damned" is a coldass line tho

I don't wanna sound mean, but even before this chapter I don't understand how people didn't pick up on the satire. Yes, it mimicks Christian evangelical writings; but it's too much of a line-after-line perfect storm for it to not be intentional parody. I grew up evangelical and it's a great satirical take but way too on the nose for anybody to reasonably think it's genuine.

I love the subtle casual racism with Dean Thomas's words constantly being described as articulate, as if it was unexpected.

Gryffindors - evangelical protestants; possibly Southern Baptist, PCA, or one of the more conservative Wesleyan denoms; the type of low-church congregation to say "we're Bible-believin'" Slytherins - Catholic Hufflepuffs - liberal Mainline Protestants Slytherins - fundamentalists (which is often used interchangably with evangelical, but esp mid-20th-century there was a distinction) or, the strawman evangelicals concede exists so they can say "we're not like that"

I have this sudden and incredible urge to make a silly little yonkoma-style comic of Canon!Snape meeting Prayer and Miracles!Snape. It'd be glorious.

Damn 14 years ago

OH MY GOD IT'S BACK

I'd almost forgotten about the sexism and 70's clown outfits fic.

"the horse thing with the antlers came and a white bubble knocked all the dementors away" 0.o um...

chapter immediately opens with an outift description: we're so back

Lamé is a type of fabric woven or knit with thin ribbons of metallic fiber wrapped around natural or synthetic fibers like silk, nylon, or spandex, as opposed to guipé, where the ribbons are wrapped around a fiber yarn. It is classically gold or silver in color; sometimes copper lamé is seen. making a sock out of lamé would be pretty, uh, lame

I had never listened to Avenue q when I first listened to this. Then I saw it at a community theatre in February and immediately though of this video during not wearing underwear today

I love how Voldemort hasn’t made an appearance and all the death eaters are just following Ron now. He’s probably still busy with his atheist Reddit account

“The horse thing with the antlers.” When you’re trying to reach a word count

My favorite anime: 12 piece

Yay!

Severus Snape is the Godfather of Tumblr Sexymen 💚🌹

Ah, "No one blinded me".

Angus can suck it.

One of my favorite short and shiveries!!! ❤❤❤

Harry is monologuing and " expositing" so much that you'd have to double check to make sure he hasn't been replaced by Hamlet.

I'd totally read a fanfic where Harry joins the witness protection program.

That Smash Bros fanfic is officially not the longest anymore...

As someone who was raised Christian, turned atheist, was forced to start a catholic school and is now kinda of questioning what I believe in: I’ve never heard any atheist talk like the Dursley’s, also we don’t call Dawkins “The Dawkins”, I’ve never even read any of Dawkins’ work, and I don’t know anyone who has