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Yes. Life is fleeting

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Many agree to these things believing it will just be them and their men for life. It only start to hurt when another comes in and the rules don't apply.

Definitely so. That's a fact we must come to terms with

It's an existing arrangement that she AGREED TO, so the issue of being unjust won't surface until she request for same right and he declines

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Yeah. I had 2 comments in your previous video before this video but all what I took time to type never showed up. Don't know who's responsible for that. I needed to know before trying again to avoid the stress.

Thanks, sis.

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What's that?

@SylvesterChindimba-dq9zh 🤗

@@zainabkadiri6350 thanks sis

@@rachellamb3305 Hello sis 👋 Thanks, sis. 🤗

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@@rajaosman1192 everyone cannot be a first wife, for MANY REASONS. This is the reality.

@@ummsulaymBintIslam ya but u can be an only wife

@@surfingconey7536 I'd be so glad 😊☺️

@@surfingconey7536 you're right 😊

@@gairoonishaboolay4331 May Allah honey you all, and make your home, and her home (his homes) a bliss ❤️🤗 💕

@@iptihallalie8218 Thanks for the nice words, sis. Stinginess is almost like a spirit o 😂 Doesn't matter if the person is rich or poor, Just like giving isn't a function of pocket, but heart. You may have to follow the shari'a permission to take what's enough for the needs of the house.

@@HajaEmmaTuray depends for people. Personally, I prefer distance. Doesn't have to be far away, just enough distance because I don't want us bumping into each other regularly (except we're both lucky to be very sensible and mature).

@ummsulaymBintIslam ok thanks

This is still in line with her first point I guess. Even if the wife doesn't have money but the husband is very wealthy and reasonable, he'll definitely help his wives to build a life of their own.

@@dominiquebrown869 the jail got me rolling 😂😂

@ummsulaymBintIslam 😂😂😂😂

Na'am. You're right. Jazakumullahu khayran 🙏

Some men are insensitive o 😭 Yeah, some are not.

The point I'm trying to make is that, even when a man is sensitive enough but still can't help his natural desires, he might end up taking the wrong step due to the fear of his wife's reaction when she's be informed ahead. There are levels to being sensitive and we all can't deny that our biological nature do often hunt us. A lot of men that we think are loyal to one wife are just afraid of been broke. Set them up with abundant riches and wealth and you'll realize only a few will be left with monogamy.

But I appreciate your work. I pray Allah strengthen you and ease your affairs. Aamiin 🤲🏽

@surfingconey7536 I understand 😂 Sure, if I were a man and not financially buoyant, I wouldn't near polygyny too. And yes, many are monogamous because they're yet to hit it big, which is why as soon as more money rolls in, many men rush for poly. 😆

@@surfingconey7536 aameen Jazakumullahu Khairan 🙏

My husband tell me that he's not ready for second wife at the moment maybe in the future but for know he is not ready but am stressed because the family that offer my husband this proposal are too desperate, the girl in question is testing my husband frequently calling him And even asked for my number she even called me to talk to me about that

It's can be a lot of trigger when there's someone known to be on your husband's neck for a marriage. So sorry you have to go through that all, especially emotionally. However dear sis, you cannot allow what hasn't happened and might never happen to take over your marital life and mind. If this is already so serious that it causes issues between you and your man, kindly redress it. He isn't the one pushing this, he shouldn't have to pay any price for it. This could push him away or frustrat@te him to the point of considering her to escape from you-he is human. Also, dear sis, while it's uncertain whether or not he will remarry (Allah knows), I'd say you should do a personal work on remapping your view of Polygyny, work on emotional detachment, and create more essence in your life center. All easier said than done, but nothing is worth our mental health or our marital bliss, so it's WORTH THE TRY. We should not be too worried of a future that we may not even be part of, and forgetting to LIVE IN THE PRESENT. Our spouse could lose us, we could them. So, let's make the most of our times together. Forget the external noise makers. For now, focus on your home, build your home (that's what you and your husband HAVE). Any other is just a POSSIBILITY. I sincerely wish you ease, and I hope that you two can mend this crack soon. It's not worth it.

@@ummsulaymBintIslam thank you I will do what you said

@@HajaEmmaTuray 🤗may Allah make it easy, dear sis.

On your first wife's behalf? 😊

@@ummsulaymBintIslam 🤣🤣Yeah,sadly the 1st marriage eventually broke down.

It's up 😆

@@rahmatabidemi8456 aameen. Wa feeki BarakAllaahu

@@dominiquebrown869 We assume. There are women in Polygyny who have access to their men than women in monogyny. Some women are just there for kids because the man is more a husband to numerous women outside than the one he married. They share their men too, like women in polygyny, they are emotionally drained too from having to share. Talk about infections. I advocate for positivity in any marriage anyone chooses (Polygyny or monogamy). Yes, if I'm to choose between a healthy/faithful mono or healthy/faithful poly, I'd choose mono. But I'd choose poly over many so-called monos. They aren't really mono oftentimes. Better he gets responsible at his poly then

Some men even have children out there marriage that they don't know about

It's not something GREAT, it's called A LEGAL CHOICE for those doing it, and it should be respected. Do you know anyone FORCED INTO POLYGYNY? I mean personally and not whatever flies around? If anyone doesn't want it, they LEAVE. I would leave if I find it unbearable. CHOICE! So there you have it, Women ARE MAKING THE CHOICE, educated, young , old, welldoing, and even financially stable women! In fact, many women are VERY OPEN to Polygyny than you think, just that Muslim women have an edge by not feeling "judged" as others would. I personally advocate for widows and divorcees but truth is, a man can CHOOSE whom he wants, as long as the woman also wants him and he can CATER FOR HER NEEDS AS SHOULD. It's a disservice to womanhood to use "take on" about something the woman CHOSE. You know how many 'faithful side chics' who claim to be in love with a married man would jump on Polygyny if the offer is made? Trust me, you don't know our gender as much as you think 😊 Overall, IT'S LEGIT AND SOME WOMEN ARE CHOOSING IT. Same way even some Muslim women WON'T CHOOSE IT. Our emotional or even rational perspectives and opinions is just secondary.

@ummsulaymBintIslam You're right it's a choice that women make to be in. Yes, there are women who are side chick's that would love it if they had the opportunity. I never claimed that my opinion spoke for all women. I am not for polegamy because I see no benefits for it. Especially in 2024.

@dominiquebrown869 I respect your choice. That's the beautiful about it all, that it isn't a must for anyone. You were cordial all through the conversation, and replying back was always so easy for me. Thanks for engaging, and sharing your thoughts. 🤗

@@TheBlacMuslimah268 Aameen

@@muslimgirlanimation634 Don't be 😊 As the first loves for herself the comfort after sacrifice, the second lady also loves for herself the pleasure devoid of sacrifice. So yeah, the man who is aware of their struggles should have reduced the haste and be more compassionate.

@ummsulaymBintIslam you're right

@@9ja_muslimah they will tell you "what Haram has he done?" Just because we can, doesn't mean we should.

@@ummsulaymBintIslam I told my husband about it and he was sad for the first wife. he thinks the husband is inconsiderate.

@MujaheedAbdulkareem It feels good knowing it isn't one-size-fits-all for our men

@@9ja_muslimah You even guessed the tribe correctly 😲😳

@@9ja_muslimah This sisters case is not just about starting, but made certain sacrifices that I consider huge. I know I wouldn't dare dropout. In fact, the nikkah was done the very day she lost her father, she was mourning when he left. Her story makes me know Polygyny is not worth the fuss. And no human is worth the reliability

Some men think with desires 😢

@@ummsulaymBintIslam Inna liLlahi wa Inna ilaihi rajiun..sister, I don't want to say things that are not nice. May Allah ease her affairs and reward it. He's not worth her at all.

@@ummsulaymBintIslam na them. My mum is Ebira, my dad is Yoruba. I finished from Unilorin. So we know them very well

@@muslimgirlanimation634 A big deal. How much you'd struggle depends on how mature, and taqwa he has. It's hard regardless, but he'd manage it anyway. And with time, everyone will come on board

That's the third point, I think. Where she said men who Belittle the first wives and the second wife now disrespect the first

@@დ..დ-ზ4ყ Too huge to leave out 😂 It was number three. You're very right. Anyone with saviour mentality could easily take on an unhealthy ego

Yes,you mentioned it may Allah reward you for your usual honesty.

@დ..დ-ზ4ყ aameen 🙏

Yeah, on that group. The kind of "human" your man marries plays a role in your marital wellbeing because there is a common denominator

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Thanks for watching. Yes, their wisdom is worth paying attention to

Honestly 😢

@@dominiquebrown869 Hello sis, I understand that's how you see, from the peripheral surface. As Muslims, we believe differently. First off, in Islam, we women KNOW we don't own anyone, especially not husband. We understand he can marry up to four-even if we wouldn't want it, we KNOW. ALSO, People go into Polygyny or remain in Polygyny for different reasons VALID to them. I'd like to remind you that Polygyny isn't a compulsion on women, and if it's truly all that you've said, no woman will be in it. Not first, nor will any woman even choose to be subsequent. Fortunately, lots of women embrace it, because of the protection and maintenance, which a man is enjoined to provide in monogyny and in poly. Also, it is from the Love and Mercy of God that he didn't limit men to one wife (those who can't be just are limited to ONE WIFE). HENCE, making it possible for many women to get married, or marry again-Widows, Baby mamas, aged, divorcees, sick, etc. If you look at the cultures where men are forced to marry one, it's clear why other vices, HIGHLY UNGODLY, are prominent. Even the men forced to be with one end up being with many women, just not married to them. Many widows and divorcees relegated because men forced to marry one won't readily go for them as first and only choice. Baby mama on the rise, cheating on the rise, divorce on the rise, etc... That's How much choice and consideration a LOVING GOD gave us as Muslims. Alhamdulillah ala ni'matil Islam

@ummsulaymBintIslam just because you think it's allowed doesn'tt mean you should do it. Again, a manwhot can commit to one woman, is a Godly man. The men that cheat or partake on many women only love himself. A true Godly marriage is selfless to be able to die to your flesh, which shows that you understand the assignment that God has over you. Now, ask yourself, would you share a woman? Probably not because no one wants to truly share their spouse. How can you truly love the person if you are splitting yourself in different ways? The only thing I see with polegamy is a man that has a big sex appetite for women. The Children suffer and women are at odds with each other. There is no God in the midst of that marriage. God only honors ours one marriage. The 2nd wife is only around for money? Why should a woman work hard to help build the lifestyle she wants, only to have to share it with a woman who didn't build it? Only because the husband wants something new? Again to be able to stay committed to one woman is selfless.

@ummsulaymBintIslam also There are many women who don't want polegamy or only deal with it until they get what they need. I work with so many women who come from different countries where polegamy allowed and are Muslims who are against Polegamy. Or when they found out the husband took another wife they left with thier children. Again, no one wants to share their spouse. It's 2024 women have jobs, and are educated. The men who want another wife don't pick the widows or older woman they are picking young women, to marry. It's because they have lustful spirits

@dominiquebrown869 no one wants to share their husbands? So, who are those women choosing to be 2nd to 4th wives? That's choosing to share na. Many Christians included o because they'd rather comfort in poly than otherwise in mono. Women are CHOOSING o 😂 In Islam, if as a first wife, you cannot endure sharing your man, you have the RIGHT to leave. It's not forced on anyone, just that if a man must be with more than one woman in ISLAM, he has to properly marry them instead of claiming mono but still here and there with strange women. Men choose to share themselves with other women day in and out (monogamous homes included) whether women agree or not. Even those women married to unfaithful men in monogamy don't like it, but s most are still there, and would be there FOREVER, enduring the cheating. I would definitely leave a polygamy if I can't take it, but I'd rather my man marries another than sleeping around. Sleeping around is even automatic leaving for me, no IF.

@dominiquebrown869 Not for us. Our marriages up to 4 wives have GOD in it. Yes, the fact that one can doesn't mean one should. I 💯 agree with you. Which is why we have men who have chosen to be faithfully monogamous, despite knowing they can marry more. I also know men who were considerate of their wives feelings to back down from poly. They understand that they mustn't do it, just because they can. However, we also have those who would do it, regardless. And they are not sinning, all good. It's a thing of choice

Aameen

@@KK-ygh the truth is, you met someone whom you found "perfect." Some of or those women you didn't end up with, are also another man's "my Mrs perfect." That's why we pray to be perfect for our partners and they, perfect for us. However, no one is flawless.

@@KK-ygh May Allah keep you two together and reunite you in Jannah. I love happy stories. Allahuma barik 🙏

​@@sabrinaward774 May Allah reward you for your patience. Gaskiyah, that's too much. However, she doesn't want to leave, despite how hard it is on her, so the man must step in to manage it. If she is someone who wants to leave, she would without anyone's advice. I pray Allah ease it for her, and for everyone of you. However, I maintain that the man NEEDS TO set the boundaries. Certain things should be OFFFLIMITS - Abuse and attacks are a NO

@@fahimaabdul5568 I agree. And wives should be cautious, especially since we (women) are always at the receiving end of the "Polygyny abuse."