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If you actually force yourself to not skip the intermediate 20 lines, it's more like “And then shining-browed Kakistokles, son of wise Pornaiclites, whose grandfather Hyppophilos was room-mate of the Phrygian prince Barbaphistopheles - himself the nephew of that goose that Thunderminder Zeus fucked that one time he was particularly drunk, and which then asked to be human and was made human (because Zeus particularly enjoyed raping an animal while in the shape of a human instead of the other way round for once and was feeling generous. Either that or he regretted it, and this was a bribe to keep the bird from blabbing, take your pick), going on to found the city of Eleothanateia on the banks of the river Aesthonte in Asia Minor - was struck down by the wrath of Athena, because he had stepped on the sacred cockroach of the river-goddess Karenaia in fire-eyed wrath, after having gambled away his favorite sex-slave the night before. The shining of Rose-Fingered Dawn bestowed its light upon the well-hammered bronze of the spear-tip, shattering like morning dew upon the leaves of the aspen-tree as it ran like a swallow across the sky. The pupil-awing armor of his father Mirmiproctos, crafted in the eye-stinging smoke of hungry flame by a hand made stern and steady through many-yeared toil and travail could not halt the wrath of a deity scorned. The spear-tip pierced his armor and his maiden-supple breast, as a sparrow pierces the skin of a succulent fruit, whereupon he could not even sigh ere the darkness filled his eyes, and he fucking died, and his brows shone no more, as was the will of Zeus.”

Nice