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I'm back for today! My partner is out of the house (for once) and Luke is asleep so I figured I'd talk about how I am doing and share where I am at. Currently, I'm reflecting on how I feel with my partner and what I want moving forward and how to manage my emotions. Luke's getting up now though so enjoy the vlog!

I'm going to try and get back into these regular uploads. Luke is now 7 days old, so I think we are getting into a pattern, and I want to keep documenting how things are going between Dylan and I so I can look back and help myself in the future to remember to let go of what doesn't serve me. Once again, hopefully these help others as well.

Been a while because baby Luke was born on 20DEC22, 9 DAYS EARLY! I guess he wanted to be around for the holidays.

Last night my partner was throwing up and I asked if he needed help, but he did not accept it. I asked the second time at 3am via text if there was anything I could do, and all he wants is maybe something to drink today. I realized last night that I do not serve any capacity in his life, so what capacity does he need to serve in mine. At this point he is only causing heartache in what school be...

First full day was definitely uncomfortable, but I expected this much. I shared this with him after doing some odds and ends throughout the day in the hopes that we could talk. He said he was tired talking to me, and I understood why in the sense that we are not sharing about ourselves to each other anymore, but that this was not fair in the sense of failing to communicate now means failing to ...

The best way I can describe our relationship now is if you were forced to live with a colleague you knew but not very well and didn't really want to share a space with because you have already established your own pattern of life. On day one, that's kind of where I am at. We shared some experiences from our time apart as well which did make me feel inferior, or surprisingly boring. I did not li...

Everyone is taking off for their Holiday Leave and wishing me the best today. I really look forward to Luke and his arrival into my life, but am still taking the time now to relax and enjoy the peace and quiet on my own. I got the days mixed up with when my partner returns. It's tomorrow, so I'll enjoy the last night with a girlfriend and spending time with her then I'll let everyone know how t...

My partner comes back tomorrow for the birth of our child. To date he still wants to play his departure by ear, so I'm keeping that in the back of my mind, but honestly it has been enjoyable not being around each other. I found independence and connection with friends, I let go of feelings or the desire to text him about certain things or connect over ideas we used to share. I really found a ta...

Just a quick vlog to keep me accountable, but really reflecting on the day and focused on what I am interested in or things I need to get done. I did errands after work, shoveled the house and am working on my project tonight. I've also been focusing on me instead of work at work, which is really nice because I always commit myself to business and rarely give myself the opportunity to take care...

After texting a friend and feeling the discomfort of frustration, I realized that maybe that friend and I were never really friends to each other like we should be. We enjoyed each other's company and spent many of our waking moments together, but both of us made the other frustrated quite often. Talking to him once again after a hiatus made me realize that it almost felt better to not talk to ...

Life truly does have equal and opposite reactions. This should not prevent you from seeking happiness to absolve yourself from sorrow, instead you should consider this an opportunity to know that when you are in a crappy situation there will be a balance of a better situation to come. In my case, I have Luke. Life has tough moments, but they will pass. I encourage everyone to use the resources ...

I am not perfect. The end of my relationship is not one sided. No end is truly one sided, so for that I am sorry for the pain that I caused my spouse and hope that he and his family and friends, and all others that he is close with can forgive me. I especially hope that our son, Luke, will forgive me for living a life of two households. That will not be easy for him, so I will do my best to sho...

Day 10: Living in the Moment, Part 2

The video split. LoL. So enjoy part one and two. These are both reflections of me learning to make decisions on my own and continue down the path I make for myself by living in the moment, yet acknowledging that there are a lot of moments ahead that I feel will happen and I am curious about and anxious in some ways too that I still need to deal with. I'll let you know how they go.

Day 9: Reacting in a Healthy Way

Day 8: Early Labor Signs without Help

Day 7: Keeping up the Routine

Day 6: My Thoughts on Conscious Uncoupling

Day 5: Respecting Boundaries

Day 3: Learning to Prioritize Myself

Day 2: Connecting with Your Support System

Day 1: Learning You’re Alone